Prologue: My Heart No Longer Beats...

 

(Faith’s POV)

 

I’m sittin’ in the dark in my hotel room. It suits my mood perfectly. I’ve been hidin’ for the past three days and I don’t plan on goin’ out any time soon.

 

The curtains are closed ‘cause it’s still daylight. I find myself missin’ the heat of the sun but I can’t do anything about it. I smile sadly.

 

I always knew life was out to fuck me over, but this? This right here’s a Slayer’s worst nightmare. There ain’t a thing worse than this.

 

I spent the first day taking my anger out on myself. I screamed out my rage, I drank more alcohol than even a Slayer ever could, I busted up the room and I sliced myself up with glass from one of the beer bottles. I sat on the floor for a while and watched the blood run down my arms in rivulets. Then I spent the next two hours in the bathroom pukin’ from revulsion at the hunger.

 

I’ve gone over the fight so many times, tryin’ to find the point where it turned on me. But I’ve come to the realization that that fight wasn’t ever gonna be mine in the end. Dane was stronger, faster, larger, and by far more powerful than me or anything I’ve ever been up against before.

 

I can still feel the sensation of that big son of bitch’s fangs tearin’ into my skin and his arms like steel bands pinning me to him. The coldness that slowly seeped into my limbs is so much a part of me now that I’m beginnin’ to forget what the warmth of humanity felt like. I’m just waitin’ for the insanity to hit me.

 

I remember Spike and Angel’s stories and mine ain’t makin’ sense. They woke up with the demon fully in control. My hunger comes and goes and I’m still able to control myself even when it does hit. It is gettin’ stronger the longer I go without, though. I just ain’t desperate enough to give in yet.

 

Maybe the Slayer’s still in me. It would make sense, I guess. She’s as much a demon as the vampire is, right? God help her if she is still in here. I got a feelin’ the vampire in me will take deranged pleasure in fuckin’ her up if it takes control.

 

I’m sure the gang knows what’s up by now. I wonder how long it’ll be ‘fore they come after me. I doubt they’ll just leave me alone. I’m not even sure I want ‘em to. I don’t want this existence, but I don’t wanna die either.

 

A tear trickles down my cheek. Just when B and I were gettin’ to be friends... I’m sure this’ll put a stake in it. I laugh scornfully. Yeah, it’ll be her stake in me.

 

A skitter of nervous energy shoots up my spine and I stiffen. The feelin’ gets even more intense and then there’s a knock on the door. I stand and move until I’m behind the door.

 

I call out tensely, “Yeah?”

 

A familiar voice answers, “Faith? It’s Willow and Kennedy. Can we come in?”

 

Fuck. Why’d she have to bring Ken? She must be what caused the mini shock therapy session I was just treated to. I consider Red’s question for a sec and then shrug.

 

Maybe if I’m cooperative and shit, they’ll just leave me alone. Just like old times, I smirk. I reach out and unlock the door.

 

“Yeah, c’mon in,” I answer.

 

Ain’t a way in Hell I’m steppin’ out there in that hallway. This hotel’s got more windows than is healthy for me.

 

The door opens slowly and I’m given my answer. It’s obvious by how hesitant they’re bein’ that they know somethin’ is up. I wonder why B didn’t come with. I’d think she’d wanna be the one to get the pleasure of stakin’ my ass.

 

Ken comes in first and I watch from behind the door as she glances around. Red comes in after her and I let the door slam shut. I can’t help but smirk when they both jump. They spin around to face me and I wave.

 

“Hey, guys. What’s up?”

 

Ken’s eyes flick over me and she moves in front of Red. Her jaw clenches and she says, “You tell me.”

 

Damn. I ain’t ever heard that much venom in Ken’s voice directed at me. Should’ve known little sis had it in her though. I think it’s a Slayer thing, honestly.

 

I tilt my head and shrug. “I thought this was my mission.”

 

Ken smirks, “Oh it was. But you aren’t exactly her, either, are you?”

 

I hear Red mumblin’ somethin’ in another language and I sigh tiredly. “I’m as much Faith now as I was when I kicked your ass at Metal Gear Solid two weeks ago.”

 

“And I’m supposed to just believe you? You’re a vampire, Faith.”

 

“So are Angel and Spike, but ain’t nobody staked them yet.”

 

“They have souls.”

 

I edge over to my bed and sit down on the edge. “And I’m still a Slayer.”

 

Red’s chantin’ slows and I glance over to see her lookin’ at me with wide eyes. What? I didn’t say anything that strange.

 

“Uh, Ken?” She says hesitantly.

 

Ken spares her a brief glance, “What’s wrong?”

 

“She isn’t lying,” She answers slowly.

 

The confusion in her expression almost makes me laugh. You and me both, Red, I muse.

 

Ken’s face pales and she’s lookin’ at me in horror. She shakes her head and moans, “Oh, God, Faith, no.”

 

I give her a weak smile and nod. “Yeah, this is all me.”

 

“H—how are you surviving?” She stammers.

 

My stomach spasms and lets out a grumblin’ sound. I blush in reflex. Huh, didn’t realize a vampire could do that. Well, you learn new things every day.

 

I choke out, “Truthfully? Not so well.”

 

“What do you mean?” Red asks.

 

I let out a puff of air. “I haven’t left my room since I stumbled back in here after it happened.”

 

“Can you tell us about it?” Ken asks as she settles on the recliner.

 

I lower my head and run my hand through my hair. “I tracked Dane down and we fought, but I was losin’ ‘fore it really began. He was a big son of a bitch, y’know? I couldn’t get away from him.”

 

“W—what’s it like?”

 

I give Ken a pained look. “Hell. I think I’ve figured out why there aren’t any written records of Slayers bein’ turned.”

 

Red sits down on the arm of Ken’s chair. “Why?”

 

“They probably stake themselves before their watchers can find out,” I say flatly.

 

“Oh,” She mumbles.

 

“Why’d you guys come here?”

 

“You didn’t check in and Giles was worried.”

 

I glance at Ken curiously. “How’d you know somethin’ was up with me?”

 

Her gaze falls to the floor and she says hoarsely, “Something didn’t feel right the closer we got to this hotel and when we got in here, you just felt wrong.”

 

I nod. “Does B know somethin’ is up?”

 

“No,” Red answers.

 

“Why?”

 

“Giles figured you were just playing hooky for a few days,” She answers sheepishly.

 

I grin sadly. “Guess G-man knows me better than I thought.”

 

“Yeah,” She mumbles with a lost look in her eyes.

 

My smile fades as I realize what she’s thinkin’ about. “I don’t want B to know yet.”

 

Her head jerks up. “What? Why?”

 

“I ain’t stickin’ around.”

 

“Why? You don’t have to go.”

 

I slump back against the wall by the bed. I guess it’s time for some truths. I’ve realized a few things since Ken entered the room; none of ‘em good.

 

“I can’t stay. I just don’t feel right inside. My instincts are yellin’ at me to get away and I have to go with that ‘til I understand what’s goin’ on.”

 

Ken nods. I think she really does get it. “What are we supposed to tell everyone?”

 

“Tell ‘em whatever ya want. Just give me a couple days ‘fore ya do.”

 

 

Chapter One: But Still It Betrays Me

 

I know she’s in the room before I turn the light on. The feelin’ is so different than when I was just a Slayer. It ain’t disturbin’, but it ain’t exactly pleasant either. I know it’s her ‘cause none of the others would have the balls to come here.

 

I flick the switch and the dim light flickers on. My apartment’s in the basement of an abandoned house. I hadn’t wanted any attention and this place was nasty when I first bought it and the neighborhood even nastier so I’d figured they wouldn’t look for me here. I took the time to take out the neighborhood trash; dusted some vamps, cleared out some sick sons of bitches that humanity ain’t gonna miss, and here I am.

 

Unfortunately, vamps and demons start talkin’ when their favorite hangouts get cleaned out. Before long, I caught wind of a rumor that two vamps were in the area lookin’ for me. One of them was blond and the other was brunet. I knew who it was the moment I heard.

 

I tracked ‘em down and beat ‘em to within inches of their second deaths. I told ‘em if they came here again I’d stake ‘em, no questions asked. I was out of the business and I wanted to be left alone. I all ready paid my debts with my life and I don’t owe any-fuckin’-body a single motherfuckin’ thing – not the Powers, not Buffy, nobody.

 

I don’t even have half a clue as to why she’s here. I’ve stayed as far away from anything Slayer related as I can get. I only slay when I have to and I don’t socialize. It’s just better that way when you’re in my position. Demons hate me ‘cause I tend to get stab happy, I get twitchy around some humans, and I get paranoid around Slayers.

 

I toss my blue jean jacket on the leather couch and saunter across the room to the kitchen without a word or a glance in her direction. I know my silence is drivin’ her crazy but that’s what I live to do, so to speak. I open the fridge door and pull out the metal container I keep inside.

 

I grab my favorite mug from the rack above the coffee maker and thump it onto the counter. I twist the cap on the metal container to the side and pour the crimson liquid into the mug. I set it in the microwave to heat and return the container to the fridge. I don’t even turn to look at her until I’ve gotten it fixed the way I like it.

 

My gaze falls on her and I take a sec to study her. She looks good. Her blonde hair’s up in a bun and a tight white tank top clings to her breasts. Her faded and strategically ripped jeans look like they were painted on.

 

Finally, I clear my throat and ask, “What are you doin’ here?”

 

“I think you know.”

 

I grin in response to her answer. She sucks in a sharp breath and my grin widens. She must not have been as prepared to see me like this as she thought. I trail my tongue over the tips of my fangs and shrug.

 

“Needed to see me that bad, did ya?”

 

“Cut the crap, Faith.”

 

I shake my head and laugh, “Know it probably pisses ya off, B. But I really ain’t got a clue ‘bout why you’re here. Wanna shed some light on it?”

 

“No, but I might want to shed some light on you.”

 

I sip from the mug, ignorin’ the look of disgust she’s givin’ me. Come on! She used to kiss Angel and Spike for God’s sake. She even let ‘em pop her cork. Why’s she actin’ like it’s so fuckin’ nasty now?”

 

“Get over yourself, B. I ain’t been in the game for a while now. I have no reason to know anything about what’s goin’ down with you or the rest of your little misfits.”

 

I see a flicker of doubt in her eyes and she sighs. Her shoulders slump and she leans forward in her seat. She lets her head drop and sighs as she props her elbows on her knees.

 

“Sorry, it’s just been really rough lately.”

 

I’ve just realized somethin’ that’s kinda makin’ me wanna throw myself out the door into the dawn light. She still gets under my skin. With just the slightest look, the gentlest touch, the softest words, I’m hers for the takin’. I stick my mouth back on my mug and chug from it to keep from sayin’ anything I’ll regret.

 

I remember how badly I always wanted to affect her the same way she did me. I used to try to get her to smile ‘cause I couldn’t stand to see her sad. I’d make her laugh by doin’ the stupidest shit I could think of. I did things I never would’ve just because she wanted me to. Goin’ to the mall with the Scooby Gang, drinkin’ fruity drinks I couldn’t stand, puttin’ out cigarettes before I was through with ‘em, droppin’ hotties ‘fore they could even get a taste—all ‘cause she wanted me to.

 

I loved her to the point of my own detriment at one time. I can see now that ain’t much changed in the four years since I’ve seen her. My heart no longer beats, but still it betrays me. The irony nearly chokes me as I bow to my heart.

 

“What’s goin’ down that has you breakin’ and enterin’?”

 

Her jaw works as she straightens and shifts in the chair. Her voice is hoarse when she speaks, “Someone is killing Slayers. In the last three weeks nine Slayers have turned up drained and mutilated.”

 

I stiffen. I think I’m startin’ to see why she’s here a whole lot clearer and I really, really don’t like it. I glare at her.

 

“It ain’t me, if that’s what ya thinkin’. I ain’t left this little backwater town since I got here.”

 

“Faith, don’t get defensive.”

 

I laugh humorlessly, “Don’t get defensive? You break into my crib, insinuate I’m offin’ your girls, and you don’t want me to get defensive? Shit, B. You’ve flipped your fuckin’ lid, ain’t ya?”

 

Buffy stands to try to approach me and I take a step back. She stops and lets out an explosive breath.

 

“Why do things always get so out of hand with us?”

 

I smirk, “‘Cause one or the both of us is always doin’ somethin’ stupid.”

 

“I didn’t come here to fight, Faith.”

 

“That ain’t what it’s been soundin’ like, B.”

 

She returns to her seat and buries her face in her hands. Her voice comes out muffled, “I just thought you’d have heard something. I didn’t know you’d completely dropped out of the slaying business, Faith.”

 

I drain my mug and rinse it out at the sink before I finally circle the breakfast bar to return to the livin’ room. I sit across from her on the couch and cross my legs at the ankles.

 

“So you expect me to believe that ya came all the way out here on the off-chance that I might know somethin’?”

 

“Yes?” She squeaks and her hands fall back into her lap.

 

I see the way her eyes are flickin’ around and I laugh. “Lyin’ ain’t gonna get ya very far, B.”

 

She sighs and her shoulders slump. She quietly replies, “I’m not really sure why I came. I just... he told me where you were and I had to.”

 

That sounds closer to the truth, at least. I shake my head. “Which one of ‘em spilled the beans? Was it soul-boy or little Willy?”

 

She coughs in surprise, “What? It isn’t that lit—” She cuts herself off as she blinks and shakes her head rapidly. “Forget I said anything.”

 

I lean forward with a smirk, “No, please, go ahead and finish what you were gonna say. I’m sure it was gonna be interestin’ as fuck.”

 

Oh, that’s too good. It’s been too long since I’ve seen her turn that shade of red. Fuck, it’s just been too long since I’ve seen her, period.

 

She glares at me, “So not the point. And I refuse to add to your perversion.”

 

“Awww, but, B, you’re takin’ all the fun out of it.”

 

She rolls her eyes and asks, “Why do you want to know which one of them told me?”

 

I shrug, “Just call me Curious George.”

 

She takes a breath and slowly releases it. She nods as if making a decision and says, “It was Spike.”

 

I lift an eyebrow. She gave that answer just a little easier than I would’ve expected.

 

“What’d he tell ya?”

 

She leans back in the chair. “He, uh, he told me about the fight. He actually said you had become a better fighter than you ever were, basically,” She smiles briefly at me.

 

The smile fades and her gaze drops to the floor. “He also told me about what you’d said about how you’d... you’d paid all your debts with your life,” Her voice falters.

 

I nod. “I was bein’ honest.”

 

“Yeah,” She murmurs and her gaze lifts to mine again.

 

Oh, fuck. I know why she’s here and Goddamn me, Goddamn me... I know what my answer will be. It’ll be the same thing it always has been when she’s needed me.

 

I couldn’t live with myself if I gave any other.

 

 

Chapter Two: Vampire, Interrupted

 

She hasn’t asked yet. She just changed the subject and started an impressive babble-thon that would make Red proud and hasn’t shut up yet. Her anxiety is obvious from where I’m sittin’. God, it must be pissin’ her off somethin’ awful to have to come ask me for help.

 

I don’t doubt that her first reaction to learnin’ where I was at was to come after me. We’re drawn to each other like moths to a flame and neither of us can resist the pull for long. But I knew when she told me that she’d just had to come that it wasn’t her only reason for bein’ here. She can’t lie for shit to me and she never really could unless I was too involved in whatever was happenin’ to pay attention to her signals.

 

I’m content for now to just sit here quietly, but eventually we will have to get to the point of her visit. I have to sleep sometime and unfortunately, daytime’s when I’m usually tired. It’s a problem we vampires tend to have along with a severe allergy to sunlight.

 

She’s insistent about catchin’ me up on everything that’s gone down with the Scooby Gang. Well, almost everything. There’s been absolutely no mention of her personal life. Though she’s made sure that I now know Giles has married some chick named Olivia, Red and Ken are married, and Xander’s datin’ a Slayer named Renee. She even told me about this guy named Connor that Dawn’s been seein’.

 

I’m not so sure that I should complain about the lack of info on her personal life, though. Maybe I should just count my blessings and leave it at that ‘cause I really don’t wanna hear about her latest boy-toy. No, I’d rather listen to her go on and on about everyone else in Cali. Fuck, she’s cute.

 

I’m startin’ to make myself sick with as often as that statement keeps crossin’ my mind. Has it just been so long since I’ve been in the presence of another bein’ for an extended amount of time that my brain’s just gone to mush? There’s somethin’ really messed up about that.

 

“Are you even listening to me, Faith?”

 

Huh? I jerk my head up and bite back a smirk at the pout she’s givin’ me.

 

“Yeah, ‘course I am, B.”

 

“Are you sure? ‘Cause it kind of looked like you were drifting there.”

 

“Jesus,” I mutter in exasperation. “Yes, I was listenin’ to ya, B. Ya were tellin’ me ‘bout ya new crib out in Cali. You just said somethin’ ‘bout your new puppy goin’ ape-shit and tearin’ your covers to shreds.”

 

“Oh,” She blinks. “I guess you were listening.”

 

Not really, but she doesn’t need to know that. I just tuned in long enough to figure out what she was talkin’ about and then went back to my thoughts. What can I say? I’ve got mad skills, yo.

 

“Yup,” I nod in agreement.

 

“So we bought the new linens...”

 

And she’s off again. Why does she think I wanna know any of this? I didn’t when I was alive. I sure as fuck don’t now.

 

Why haven’t I shut her up yet? I must’ve lost my fuckin’ mind ‘cause I think I’ve actually missed her voice. A low, aggravated growl escapes without my permission.

 

She blinks at me in surprise and then asks, “Are you okay?”

 

I give her a weak smile. “Yeah, I’m just fuckin’ peachy. So you were sayin’ ‘bout the paint job?”

 

Don’t need her askin’ what it was all about so maybe a subject change will help. Well, miracle of miracles, it did. Usually she’s as persistent as fuck when she wants somethin’.

 

***

 

Oh Jesus fuckin’ Christ, Mary and Joseph she’s whacked in the head. It’s almost noon, for God’s sake. Hello? Vampire, here—I’m supposed to be asleep right now!

 

How did Angel and Spike put up with her? Oh wait, I know the answer to that. Forget I even asked. I can’t just tell her to go away, ‘cause then she’ll give me that wounded look and I’ll cave faster than anything. Fuck.

 

I yawn, my mouth openin’ wide enough that I’m sure she can see my tonsils. My jaw pops and I let out a sigh as I close my mouth with a clack of my teeth. I don’t get why my body still functions almost normally, with the exception of a heartbeat and blood flow. I still get the usual urges, like breathin’, eatin’, sleepin’, and pretty often, I get horny and wanna fuck too.

 

Somethin’ is missin’ and it takes me a minute to realize what it is. I blink and look at B. She’s just sittin’ there starin’ at me quietly.

 

“What?”

 

She gives me a guilty look. “Sorry, I didn’t realize how late it was getting. Should I go now?”

 

Yes! My mind screams. No, no, can’t tell her that. I slump back against the couch and give her a reassurin’ smile.

 

“Nah, that’s aight, B.”

 

She gives me a wry smile. “No, it’s not. But that’s fine. I’ll just come back later tonight.”

 

“Wait, B. Why don’t you just go ahead and tell me why you’re really here?”

 

She lets out a shudderin’ breath and her smile fades. “You know why I’m here, Faith.”

 

I shrug, “Maybe, maybe not. We won’t know for sure ‘til ya ask.”

 

No way am I gonna make this easy on her. She’s comin’ in here, interruptin’ my life. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t give her a hard time for that.

 

She gazes at me in silence for a long time. I guess she’s tryin’ to decide if it’s worth it or not. Her shoulders slump and I grin inwardly.

 

“We need your help,” She says hoarsely.

 

“What can I do that you can’t get done?”

 

She rubs her hands over her thighs and leans forward again. “We’ve learned that there’s an army of demons and vamps forming a new community. The ones we’ve interrogated tell us it’s pretty sophisticated and organized. All they can tell us about the leader is that he’s vicious and that most of the local vamps steer clear of him. We haven’t been able to locate their hideout yet.”

 

I nod, “Aight, and that involves me, how?”

 

She sighs, “Even when we do find it, I don’t want to go in completely unprepared. We need to know what to expect, and none of my people would last long in that environment. The moment a vampire catches scent of them, it’ll be chow time.”

 

“What about Red’s mojo? Couldn’t she do anything to help?”

 

“We have reason to believe they have a warlock working for them. It would be too much of a risk.”

 

“And the reason you ain’t usin’ Angel or Spike on this?”

 

She bites her bottom lip and then releases it. Her eyes peer at me from under long, thick blonde lashes and she asks softly, “Why are you being so defensive, Faith? I thought you would help.”

 

“I ain’t sayin’ that I won’t. I’m just tryin’ to figure out what the sitch is, B. Now answer the fuckin’ question.”

 

Her jaw clenches and she growls, “Fine. They’re too well known. It wouldn’t take long before some vampire with half a brain recognized either of them.”

 

I nod. That I can buy. Most vampires have at least a rudimentary knowledge of Angelus and William the Bloody.

 

“What does this army have to do with Slayers bein’ killed?”

 

The golden flecks in her hazel eyes flare with anger when she answers, “We think they’re being used for initiations.”

 

Now it’s my turn to grind my teeth. I may technically not be one any more, but just the thought of it still pisses me off like you wouldn’t believe. I blow out a harsh breath.

 

“So you need me to do what?”

 

She hesitates and then says coolly, “We need you to help us locate their base and infiltrate them. I don’t know how long you’ll have to go undercover, or what you might have to do, but it has to be done in order to prevent unnecessary bloodshed.”

 

She’s willin’ to let me do this alone? I wouldn’t have thought she’d trust me enough, but there hasn’t been a single mention of a team, a partner, or anything. Maybe she sees just how much of a liability anyone else would be for me in the situation she’s describin’.

 

But, first thing’s first. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, B.”

 

She looks at me, startled, “Why?”

 

“They’re gonna expect things of me you ain’t gonna approve,” I can hear the edge in my tone. I’m surprised by her answer though.

 

Steel seeps into her voice, “Whatever it takes, Faith.”

 

I can feel the shift of my features and I peer at her through eyes narrowed by the ridges and angles that have formed. She sucks in a breath and I smirk.

 

“Remember you said that,” I snarl.

 

 

Chapter Three: Home, Sweet Home

 

I step off the Council’s private jet and set my feet on the tarmac with somethin’ like relief. I hate flyin’. It ain’t that I’m afraid, I just can’t stand it. Bein’ forced to stay in one place makes me antsy, and you ain’t got too many other options when you’re that high in the sky.

 

I let out a breath and glance around. Good ol’ Cali. I can feel the vibe of the place seepin’ into my body all ready. There’s just somethin’ about this place... It really gets under my skin.

 

I look back to see B comin’ down the stairs with her bag slung over her shoulder. I shift mine and sigh. We haven’t really talked much since we tied up our plans. She left my place and I went to sleep, dead to the world for seven and a half hours.

 

When I woke up, I drank and ate before I called to see if she’d arranged everything. All she said was for me to be at the airport in an hour and a half, and then she gave me the flight info and ended the call. Now here we are.

 

That had to have been the tensest flight I’ve ever taken. She didn’t say a word to me the entire time. Five hours and not one single word, but she kept lookin’ at me like she was expectin’ somethin’. I ain’t too sure what that was all about.

 

I hear a car approachin’ and I look around. I tense at the sight of a big black SUV slowin’ to a stop a few feet away from where I’m standin’. I dart another glance back at B and I see that she’s not worried. I guess it’s our ride, then.

 

My guess is confirmed when Xander gets out of the driver’s side. I still don’t know what she’s told them about this little visit. I have to admit that I’m kinda curious about how she explained me comin’ back with her.

 

“Hey, Xan,” I call out.

 

“Faith,” He answers with a nod.

 

I guess I can’t put it off any longer. I walk towards him slowly. Don’t want him thinkin’ I’m about to attack or nothin’.

 

“How’s it hangin’?”

 

He shakes his head, “I’m not falling for that one. You’ll have to try a little bit harder.”

 

I grin widely. He doesn’t flinch like I expected him to at the sight of my fangs. I’ll take that as a good sign.

 

“Fine, then how’s it goin’?”

 

“It’s getting better all the time,” He answers and reaches for my bag.

 

I step back, “Un-uh, save the chivalry for B. I can handle my own, y’know.”

 

“Stop giving him a hard time,” B’s voice comes from behind me.

 

I glance back over my shoulder at her. “Stop takin’ all my fun away, why don’t ya?”

 

She rolls her eyes and hands Xander her bag. “Thanks, Xander.”

 

“Any time, Buffster,” He replies and then he walks around the SUV to the back.

 

I follow him slowly. When we reach the back, he pops the hatch and I let him settle Buffy’s bag and then toss mine in. I leave him to shut the hatch and get into the backseat. I smirk when I see the DVD players and mini-screens set into the back of the seats and the panel of buttons and knobs set into the roof of the SUV.

 

Xander gets in and I ask, “Got ya ride all tricked out, don’t ya?”

 

“Yeah,” He replies as he starts the car. “I was surprised when Giles let us get all the bells and whistles.”

 

It falls silent and I turn my attention to the panel between the two front seats. I reach up to fiddle with the buttons and my hand gets smacked away. I glare at the hazel eyes gazing back at me over B’s shoulder.

 

“What? I was just gonna check it out.”

 

“Uh-huh. More like you were going to mess with the settings until you overloaded the system. You forget that I know what you do when you go into an electronics store, Faith.”

 

I smirk in reply. B quickly realized that taking me into RadioShack at the mall wasn’t a good idea when we were kids. I’ve always had this weird fascination with pressin’ buttons. And if the result entertains me enough, I do it over and over.

 

Thwarted from my amusement, I slump back in my seat. This wasn’t so bad. Hopefully the rest will be as easy, but I doubt it. There’s always one person at least who wants to start shit.

 

***

 

The moment Dawn sees me climb out of the car, she squeals, “Faith!”

 

I flinch at the pitch of her voice, but I don’t have time to rub my abused ear before she’s jumpin’ into my arms. I hug her in reflex. Either someone forgot to mention to her that I’m a vamp now, or she doesn’t give a damn. With Dawn, I’m willin’ to bet it’s the latter.

 

She finally climbs down and grabs onto my arm like it’s a lifeline as she tugs me towards the house. I chuckle at her.

 

“Hey, Dawn. How are ya?”

 

“I’m great. Oh my God, it’s so good to see you,” She says quickly.

 

“I’ll get your bag,” Xander calls from the back of the SUV.

 

I consider tellin’ him to fuck off, but I decide against it. First day back, it wouldn’t make a good impression. Maybe I can find a reason to tell him that next week. If I’m around next week, that is. I wince as I’m brought back to the reason why I’m here and I peer up at the house through the early mornin’ darkness.

 

The sprawlin’ three story brick house hasn’t changed any. A flower garden adds some color to the otherwise plain appearance and the wooden swing on the front porch brings back some memories. I let out a tense breath. Not all of ‘em good.

 

I chance a glance at B and see her lookin’ worriedly at the house. Huh, wonder what that’s all about. We climb the steps and Dawn finally releases me to go through the front door. I let her and B go in first and then I enter behind them.

 

My boots sound loud on the hardwood floor of the foyer. I look around and realized it’s all still the same inside too. Two sets of staircases in front of us lead upstairs. The door to my left leads into Giles’s study, the door to the right leads to the dinin’ room and the kitchen, and a set of double doors between the staircases leads to the livin’ room and the basement.

 

There’s an almost unnoticeable door just inside the entrance to the house that’s a coatroom. A few dark tan leather chairs line the walls along with a couple of oak end tables to form a sort of waitin’ room.

 

Dawn catches my gaze and nods at the door to the left. “Giles and everyone else are waiting in there.”

 

I nod. “So where am I stayin’?”

 

She grins, “Your stuff’s still in your old room.”

 

I flinch. “That’s not gonna work, D. I don’t get along all that great with sunlight.”

 

“I know, Faith. That’s why Giles had the windows switched to necro-tempered.”

 

“Aight, well lemme take my stuff up and I’ll be right back,” I grin.

 

“Nah, Faith. I’ll take care of it,” Xander says as he strolls past me and B with our bags.

 

I tense and roll my eyes. I guess I won’t be delayin’ this any more. I reluctantly follow Dawn as she opens the door and enters the room.

 

Conversation halts when the room’s occupants notice us. Ken’s lookin’ at me over Red’s head from where she’s sittin’ on the chair arm in front of Giles’s desk. There’s a black chick leanin’ against a corner of the desk and Giles is seated behind it. Spike, Angel and Gunn are standin’ nearby in almost identical poses with their arms crossed over their chests.

 

Anyone else would be nervous at havin’ that many people starin’ at ‘em. Fuck, I ain’t anyone else and I’m nervous at havin’ that many people starin’ at me.

 

 

Chapter Four: Sheddin’ Some Light

 

“Hey, Faith, what’s up?” Kennedy breaks the silence and I let out a sigh of relief.

 

Thanks, Ken. I could kiss ya for that one.

 

I shrug in reply, “Not a thing. B asked for my help, so here I am.”

 

“Ah, yes. That’s what she was telling us over the telephone. Thank you for coming,” Giles says in a relieved tone.

 

I glance at him and then let my eyes drift to the others. Angel uncrosses his arms and looks like he’s goin’ to come over to me. I lift an eyebrow as I shake my head and he stops.

 

“Uh-uh, don’t even think it, soul-boy. We ain’t about to get all warm and fuzzy after what happened,” I warn him coolly.

 

What? Motherfucker accuses me of bein’ a mindless killin’ machine like Angelus, tries to stake me, and thinks I’ll forget about it? Fuck that.

 

B’s the only one with a free pass for stupidity like that. And that ain’t by choice. I just could never bring myself to kill her. The only thing keepin’ me from gettin’ stab happy with Angel is my gratitude for what he did way back when. There’s also the fact that B would be seriously pissed if I did, too.

 

“Yeah, about that,” Angel starts.

 

“No, don’t bother. I don’t wanna hear ya lame ass excuses,” I interrupt sharply.

 

Giles clears his throat. “Perhaps you should listen to what he has to say, Faith.”

 

If looks could kill, G-man would be drawn and quartered. “Why? So I can hear his bullshit reasons for tryin’ to end me and be all forgivin’? Fuck that, Giles. I ain’t a soul-vamp, aight?”

 

He looks at me in confusion. “What are you talking about? I assumed that for whatever reason, your soul still remained.”

 

“Maybe we should all get comfy before we start this conversation. I have a feeling it’s going to be a long one,” B interrupts.

 

I let out a rush of air and glance at her. I watch as the seats are quickly filled with impatient bodies and I shrug. I’d rather stand anyway. I sat long enough on the plane.

 

“What the bloody Hell is she doing here?” A British voice asks sharply from the doorway of the office.

 

I turn to find Wes standin’ there. The look on his face tells me I’ve found my instigator for this visit. That fuckin’ sucks. We were actually startin’ to get along before.

 

The black chick, still leanin’ against the desk next to Giles, clears her throat. “She’s here to assist us with the situation, Wesley.” She turns her attention to me and holds out a hand. “I’m Olivia, Rupert’s wife.”

 

“Nice to meet ya,” I shake her hand briefly and return my attention to Wes.

 

“And how do we know that she won’t decide to help them? She wasn’t the most stable of persons when she was alive, and I honestly doubt she’s any better—”

 

“Shut ya trap ‘fore I shut it for ya,” I growl and move toward him.

 

I don’t care about first impressions right now. I just want him to be quiet. I didn’t come here for this and I’ll be damned if I’m just gonna put up with this shit.

 

Before I can reach Wes, a strong hand grabs my shoulder and jerks me to a stop. Angry, I turn and whatever words I might’ve had freeze in my throat. Deflated, I let my shoulders slump just a little.

 

Buffy gives me a sympathetic look and turns her attention to my intended victim. “Knock it off, Wes. It’s understandable that you’re a little scared. But I didn’t bring her here to put up with your bullshit. She’s here to help.”

 

I blink a little in surprise. First, she’s defendin’ me. Second, Little Miss Straight Laced cursed. Third, fuck, she’s gettin’ me all kindsa hot here.

 

“Do we have any reassurances that she won’t switch teams?” He asks and I can finally see that he really is frightened out of his mind.

 

Shit. These guys must be serious bad news if it’s enough to have him stressin’. He usually holds up pretty damn strong in situations like this.

 

“I believe we were just getting to that. If everyone could take a seat, I’m sure Faith will answer what she can,” Giles answers.

 

I shrug at the expectant look he gives me. Whatever gets people off my fuckin’ back, I guess. It’s a good thing I went to that Wiccan’s coven after I was turned. Lenore gave me the answers they’re probably lookin’ for.

 

I’d been so fuckin’ confused about what was happenin’. I’d tracked down a coven in Louisiana, hopin’ to find some answers to my questions. Their leader, Lenore, gave me more info than I knew what to do with. I didn’t understand what half of it meant, but I got the gist of it.

 

“Come on,” Buffy grabs my arm and tugs me over to her chair in front of Giles’s desk.

 

I raise an eyebrow at her in question and she ignores it as she sits down, then she grabs my arm again and pulls me down onto the chair arm. I just look at her for a few seconds and then I shake my head and turn my attention back to the rest of the group.

 

“Aight, so here’s the long and short of it,” I look around to make sure they’re payin’ attention. “I ain’t got a soul.”

 

“What? It’s obvious that you’re in complete control of your faculties, so how is that possible?” Giles interrupts.

 

I give him a sardonic look that quickly fades into a smirk. “The demon the Shadow Men infused the Slayer with is how. What the Watcher’s Council didn’t like to advertise was that when the infusion was finished, it had changed her genetic composition to that of a demon. A Slayer is no more human than Angel or Spike.”

 

Wesley leans forward in his seat and asks, “How is that possible when they are born human?”

 

I bite my bottom lip and think about the explanation Lenore gave me. I shrug mentally. If they don’t like it, too fuckin’ bad for them. It’s the truth.

 

“The callin’ that so many girls have died for is no more than a fuckin’ possession,” I answer, sharper than I intend. “The demon’s spirit passes from one girl to the next at her death, enhancin’ the DNA strand all ready present that gives a Slayer her power.”

 

Buffy places her hand on my arm and asks quietly, “How did you find this stuff out?”

 

I glance at her and I’m surprised to find that she’s takin’ this calmly. I’d half expected her to get all high and mighty about it. Guess she’s changed a little too.

 

“After I finally accepted that this was what I was stuck with, I wanted answers and I found ‘em in a coven in New Orleans.”

 

“How is Lenore?” Red asks excitedly.

 

I glance at her and grin, “She was fine the last time I talked to her; which was last week. She gets testy if I don’t call or e-mail her at least once a month.”

 

“Wait,” Angel interrupts. “If it happens upon the girl’s death, as we all know it does, shouldn’t the demon’s spirit have left you all ready?”

 

I sigh, “Yeah. That’s where it gets screwy. It has to choose to leave.”

 

“And yours hasn’t?” Spike asks in confusion.

 

“No,” I answer slowly. “It hasn’t, obviously.”

 

“I’ve never heard of anything like this. Do you know how the spirit is managing to stay?” Giles asks.

 

I lower my head and slump back against the chair. My shoulder brushes against B’s and I feel a little bit better. I glance up and let out a breath.

 

“The demon was given free reign when everything went down with the Mayor. When that happened, it gained enough strength to cling to the physical realm.”

 

“Shouldn’t you be murder-queen again then?” Xander asks.

 

I glance sharply at him. I hadn’t even noticed him come in. Realizin’ that the question’s actually kinda valid, I soften my look a little.

 

“The darkness influenced my actions, but didn’t always control them. The demon they infused the Slayer with wasn’t naturally inclined to be bad. It was more apathetic, very few of its’ kind had evil tendencies. Lenore thinks that’s why the Shadow Men chose it.”

 

“Yes, that would make sense,” Giles mused. “But it doesn’t explain why you aren’t behaving badly. I would think that the demons would negatively influence each other.”

 

I snort, “Nice way to put it, G-man. I guess it’s ‘cause the demon’s spirit kinda cages the vampire the way the gypsy curse does Angelus.”

 

“So you’ve been completely in control this entire time?” Giles asks.

 

I nod, “Yeah.”

 

I see them all exchange glances and I go from mildly amused to worried, real fast. Silence falls for long moments. The only sounds are the tickin’ of the clock on the wall across the room and several sets of breathin’.

 

I can’t hold my question in much longer and I ask tensely, “What the fuck’s wrong? I thought that was a good thing.”

 

Giles clears his throat. “It could actually prove to be a problem.”

 

“Why?”

 

“If you go into their operation, they’re likely to expect certain behavior.”

 

I shrug with forced nonchalance, “Yeah? So?”

 

“Also, we have no way of knowing how you’ll react,” Angel adds. “If darkness is what it takes to unleash the demon, putting you in that situation is asking for trouble.”

 

“Whoa, whoa, hold up!” I say sharply and stand. “What the fuck are ya babblin’ about?”

 

“Think about it, Faith,” Angel answers. “You haven’t given into the bloodlust. It could be all it takes to make you lose control.”

 

 

Chapter Five: The Problem with Vampires

 

“I’m willin’ to take the risk,” I reply as I settle back onto the arm of B’s chair.

 

“We’re not,” Wesley breaks into the conversation. “It’s not you that will have to worry about an abnormally strong, slightly psychotic vampire coming after you, now is it?”

 

I laugh humorlessly and lean towards him. “Listen, Wes. I understand your worries. But it’s me or ya precious Slayers. Are ya willin’ to let more of ‘em die ‘cause you’re afraid of what might happen?”

 

“Stop it, both of you,” Buffy interrupts us. “There are a few issues we need to work out, but at this point, Faith’s our only chance, Wesley.”

 

“She’s right,” Giles concedes. “As much as I hate going into this blindly, we have no other option. We’ll keep our eyes open for other opportunities, but for now we’ll stick to the original plan.”

 

“Aight, so lemme see if I got this right. I find their base, get in on their operation and then...” My eyebrows arch. “Find out as much as I can, like numbers, what they’re armed with, skill, makeup, plans, and other shit like that?”

 

“Yes,” Giles answers. “We also need you to try to get as close to the leader as you can without putting yourself into too much danger. No one knows anything about him other than the rumors, and those have been fairly disturbing.”

 

I laugh, “G-man, the entire situation is dangerous, but I get what you’re puttin’ down. How am I supposed to stay in contact?”

 

“We don’t know yet,” He answers and shakes his head. “We’d need to know the general setup first.”

 

“You realize I can’t stay here, right?” I ask with a smirk.

 

B grabs my arm and leans forward to look into my eyes. “Why can’t you? I mean, I get that you’re probably uncomfortable ‘cause it’s been so long, but—”

 

I place my hand over her mouth and shake my head. “Slow ya roll, B. That ain’t it.”

 

She jerks away and narrows her eyes at me. “Don’t do that. And if that’s not it, then why?”

 

“Think about it, B. If they see me here, then the whole plan is fucked.”

 

“You have a point,” Giles says ruefully.

 

“‘Course I do, but that ain’t it,” I answer dejectedly.

 

“Do you even have a point, Faith?” Buffy asks dryly.

 

I look at her. “Where do most vamps live, B?”

 

I can see her fightin’ the laugh that’s just dyin’ to escape as understandin’ dawns, but I don’t see what’s so funny. Unless I can find an abandoned house I can board up, I’ll have to live in some crappy mausoleum. I left Georgia for this?

 

***

 

Aight, so we eventually got things hammered out enough that I could go to bed. The sky is startin’ to get that light pink tint to it that signals the arrival of dawn when I reach my old bedroom. I enter the room, but before I can close the door I hear a voice call my name.

 

“Faith, wait.”

 

I poke my head out into the hall to see Angel and Spike comin’ down the hall. I consider shuttin’ and lockin’ the door but decide against it. I ain’t that immature, at least not right now anyway. Doesn’t mean I have to be nice, though.

 

“What the fuck do you want, soul-boy?”

 

“We need to talk to you,” He answers and gestures to Spike.

 

I roll my eyes and glance toward the bay window at the end of the hall to my right. It won’t be long ‘fore the sun is up. I jerk the door open further and step back.

 

“Then get in here ‘cause I ain’t interested in becomin’ extra crispy,” I grumble.

 

They enter my room and with a perverse sense of pleasure, I walk over to the window and open the curtains. I lift the blinds and peer out over the expanse of the back yard.

 

“So what do ya want?” I ask without turnin’ to look at either of ‘em.

 

This is the first time I’ve gotten a direct view of the sunrise in four years. I ain’t gonna let their presence ruin it for me. The sight of it used to take my breath away and it filled me with wonder and warmth. The past four years were spent longin’ for that feelin’ and knowin’ I couldn’t have it.

 

I guess they understand ‘cause neither of ‘em is complainin’ about it. They both move up on either side of me and look out as well. I catch sight of the tiny smiles on their lips out of the corners of my eyes and smirk. I wonder if it’s the darkness within us that makes us crave the light.

 

We’re silent as the rays of light inch their way across the sky until there’s not an inch of darkness left in sight. I’m amused to find that I’m still as enthralled by the sunrise as I ever was. It’s actually a nice feelin’, to find that while the more things change, the more they stay the same.

 

“We need to talk about the plan,” Angel starts hesitantly.

 

“What about it? I thought it was pretty straightforward and thought out.”

 

“It wasn’t, not really,” Spike answers.

 

I arch an eyebrow, unseen as they both move away from the window. I cross my arms over my chest and slowly turn away from the window to lean back against the frame.

 

“What’s the problem, boys? I’m fine with what they came up with before I got here.”

 

“Do you think you’ll actually be able to go through with it?” Angel asks pointedly.

 

Tryin’ to pretend I don’t know what he’s talkin’ about, I say, “Yeah. I’ll be fine.”

 

“I don’t think you fully understand everything this course of action entails,” He says gravely.

 

I sigh, “I get that you’re lookin’ out for me, Angel, but I’m a big girl. I can take it.”

 

“It’ll change everything,” Spike interrupts heatedly.

 

“Look,” I snap. “I get that I’m gonna have to be the demon for a while. I know that people will die and God knows, I don’t want any more blood on my hands, but that’ll happen regardless. If I do nothin’, more blood will be on my hands anyway ‘cause I could’ve prevented it and did nothin’ instead.”

 

“If you back out, we’ll understand,” Angel says gently.

 

I laugh scornfully. “Yeah, you might. But I won’t, and B sure as fuck won’t.”

 

He growls, “Fuck Buffy! Let’s just forget her for now. It’s you I’m worried about.”

 

I push off from the frame and rush over to him, grabbin’ his shirt collar and shovin’ him up against the wall. Spike simply moves out of the way, knowin’ I can more than take both of ‘em. We just stare at each other for a long moment.

 

I get up in his face and snarl, “Don’t you get it yet, Angel? I can’t forget Buffy! That’s my fuckin’ problem.”

 

I see the understandin’ startin’ to leak into his expression and laugh. I can’t believe he hadn’t realized it yet. All these years, and all the bullshit I did... It was all because of her and the feelings I never wanted. It took my own death for me to finally accept that I was in love with her.

 

I continue in an anguished tone, “As much as the thought of what I’m gonna have to do is fuckin’ me up inside, I have to do it. I’m gonna get some sleep, drink some pig’s blood, go hunt for a place to crash, and then track these motherfuckers down, all ‘cause I can’t do anything else.”

 

I let him slide down the wall and release him. I step back and shake my head when Spike goes to say somethin’. I look back at Angel and shrug.

 

“It’s just the way things are. Spike gets it,” I jerk my head at the bleach-blonde. “It’s why he helped ‘em back in SunnyHell when he was chipped.”

 

Angel’s eyes track from my face to Spike to see him give a knowin’ grin. He sighs.

 

“So you think you can handle this?”

 

I nod, “Yeah. I know I can.”

 

“And you’re sure you want to do this alone?”

 

I smirk, “I don’t have a choice, Angel. Everyone here would be a liability and I wouldn’t trust anyone else to have my back.”

 

I wouldn’t really trust anyone here to have my back either, except maybe Red, Ken, or B. But I don’t gotta rub it in his face that he fucked up big time. I think he gets it by now.

 

“Okay, I guess that’s it then.”

 

Angel turns and heads for the door. He opens it and shoves Spike out first.

 

“Hey, watch it, Nancy-boy!”

 

He ignores Spike and glances back at me. He hesitates and then smiles, “Listen, I know what you said down there, but—”

 

I shake my head, “I get it, Angel. As pissed as I still am, I know that if the vamp had been in control, the human part of me would’ve wanted you to stake her.”

 

He nods, “Yeah.”

 

I watch him turn to leave and I smirk when he hesitates again. He turns back once more.

 

“If you need any help with anything, you know you can come to me, right?”

 

“Yeah,” I nod and wave him out of the room. “Now, get gone. I need my beauty sleep. Somethin’ tells me I ain’t gonna be gettin’ much of that soon.”

 

I watch the door shut behind him. The problem with vampires, I muse. Is that we ain’t got too many brain cells. Why else have so many of us fallen victim to Buffy’s charms?

 

 

Chapter Six: Recruitment in the Interim

 

I’ve been trackin’ this guy for three hours. We made our way through the residential areas, the business areas, and now we’re creepin’ through the back half of the warehouse district. It’s startin’ to get kinda borin’.

 

I gotta stay patient though, ‘cause I gotta find out where this guy’s goin’ ‘fore I head to my new place. I got a schedule and I wanna stick to it. It’s strange as all Hell, but it wasn’t really my idea either. Before I could leave the house after a last minute meetin’ earlier, B asked me to set it up so we could have a fixed time and place to meet.

 

I reluctantly did and then I slipped out ‘fore any more interruptions could come. I decided on where I was gonna crash, and fixed it up a little. Before I knew it, I nearly stumbled across the blonde vamp I’m followin’ talkin’ to someone else in the alley behind my new place. He was runnin’ his mouth about some vamp named “Joaquin”.

 

When he mentioned somethin’ about joinin’ Joaquin’s army, I figured I’d found what I was lookin’ for. It was confirmed when I heard ‘em jokin’ ‘bout stickin’ it to the Slayers durin’ their initiation. ‘Course, at that point, I had to force myself not to tear into ‘em.

 

Blondie’s approachin’ the largest warehouse in this section of the warehouse district and I look for a place to hide. I duck into an alcove between two warehouses and crouch down into the darkest of the shadows. I scope out the situation and wince.

 

Joaquin isn’t takin’ any chances. The area’s lit up with rotatin’ search lights and a fence surrounds the parameter. Two guards are at the gate in the fence and I can see a few walkin’ the boundary inside. There’s a couple pacin’ on the roof too.

 

I can’t quite make out the guns the roof guards are packin’, but I’d guess that they’re probably sniper rifles. The guards at the gate have rifles strapped to their backs. One of ‘em sweeps his jacket back and puts his hands on his hips as he talks to Blondie. He’s wearin’ a double shoulder holster and the second gun makes my blood boil.

 

The first is a Semi-Automatic Double Action Smith & Wesson. I recognize it ‘cause a buddy of mine in Boston used to pack one. The second is a modified Jericho 941 F. The grip of the gun’s been replaced by a clear handle and I can see slivers of the glowin’ blue liquid that fills the bullets inside the magazine.

 

Ever wonder what reaction a vamp has to chemical radiation burns? It’s about like shovin’ ‘em outside, mid-afternoon. Imagine puttin’ that inside ‘em. It makes for a wicked explosive mix.

 

Oh, God, I want one. I’ve seen ‘em, but never had the cash for it. Before this is over and done with, I’m gettin’ me one of ‘em, damn it. For now, though, I gotta go let B know what I found out. Then I’m takin’ my ass home for a warm mug of blood and maybe a porno or two.

 

***

 

B’s lookin’ at me like I just gave the answer to life’s greatest mystery. I bite back a laugh and lean against the wall of the mausoleum. I shrug at her.

 

“Ain’t nothin’ big, B. I just got lucky enough to come across the right vamp.”

 

She lets out a tense chuckle. “We’ve been struggling to find even the tiniest scrap of information on where their lair is for weeks and then you come in and find it in less than twenty-four hours. That’s... amazing, really.”

 

“Nah,” I grunt, “Ain’t anything amazin’ about it, B. All I did was track a vamp that wasn’t smart enough to pay attention to what his instincts were screamin’.”

 

“Mmm. So did you find a place to stay?”

 

“Yeah, it’s this tiny little place over on Wilshire Drive. It ain’t that great, but it’ll do.”

 

“Maybe you won’t be stuck there for long.”

 

“It’s a good thing I’m used to bein’ alone,” I sigh. “Otherwise this whole fuckin’ thing would be drivin’ me nuts.”

 

She looks at me in concern, “How are you doing with being back here? I know you seem really uncomfortable, but that could just be the situation.”

 

I scrub my face roughly and push off the wall, “It’s a little bit of everything, really. But I gotta get goin’.”

 

Before I know what she’s doin’, she tugs me into a hug. I’m frozen for a long moment and then she starts to pull away in embarrassment. I shake myself out of my stupor and pull her back against me.

 

“Sorry, caught me by surprise there,” I choke out.

 

“It’s okay,” She whispers gently and buries her face in my neck.

 

I wrap my arms tightly around her and revel in the feelin’ of her tight little body pressin’ against mine. The scent of lavender surrounds me and her warmth makes me wanna sink into her and never leave. Tears fill my eyes and I squeeze ‘em shut, fightin’ to keep the tears in. It’s been so long since we’ve been this close and for a while there I’d thought it wouldn’t happen ever again.

 

Sometimes it’s so easy to forget the connection we have. We’ve fought it, but there isn’t any denyin’ it’s there when we’re alone. When we’re fightin’ it’s like we can’t get enough distance between us... But when we’re gettin’ along, we can’t get close enough.

 

It’s why we’ve pushed each other away so often. It scares us both to death. I think maybe now I can get past that fear. I nuzzle the side of her head and hear a sigh that matches my own.

 

She squeezes me and then steps back. “I’ll see you here tomorrow night, same time?”

 

“Yeah,” I answer quickly and then I duck out the entrance.

 

***

 

“Don’t move,” A voice hisses in my ear.

 

The barrel of a gun jams into my ribcage and I slowly lift my arms. It’s been two days since I set out on my own. I’ve been tryin’ to find out how to catch Joaquin’s attention ever since and I think maybe I’ve caught it. It wasn’t really intentional though.

 

A vamp had tried to jump me just outside this cemetery and I made quick work of him. Then a bunch more had leaped out of the shadows and it was on. I managed to fight ‘em off and that’s when I found myself in this situation. I could kick this guy’s ass, but that would defeat the point, wouldn’t it?

 

“Aight, I ain’t movin’. Can I ask what the fuck this is all about?”

 

He chuckles and trails the gun across my torso as he circles me. He stops in front of me as he puts the gun away and lets his gaze caress me. It’s almost impossible to keep my disgust from showin’.

 

Yeah, he’s hot. If he were human, I might do him. And yes, I’m perfectly aware of how fucked up that is since I’m a vampire too. But I still like my bodies warm.

 

He’s got dark hair, darker eyes and a natural, dark golden complexion I’m guessin’ lets him pass for human every once in a while. His hair reaches his collar in loose curls and his thin eyebrows are finely arched. His cheekbones are high and his face is all angles and muscle.

 

He has better taste in clothes than most of the vamps I’ve ever met, though. He’s wearin’ a silk red shirt and well-cared for black leather pants. Between him, Angel, me and Spike, we might be able to do some good for vamps everywhere.

 

Too bad for them I gotta stake this fucker. I’m gonna enjoy the fuck out of it, though. The glint in his eyes makes my skin crawl and somethin’ about the way he’s lookin’ at me’s really startin’ to piss me the fuck off.

 

“You’re one rude son of a bitch, y’know that?”

 

I always have had a problem stayin’ quiet for long. Maybe one day I’ll learn to keep my mouth shut. Not.

 

He glances over his shoulder and shares a laugh with his buddies. Then he turns back to me and before I can react, he backhands me. I let my head roll with the force of it and then straighten to glare at him. I lick the blood from the corner of my mouth as I let my face shift into the vamp’s distortion.

 

He chuckles again, “You aren’t from around here, are you, gorgeous?”

 

“Nah, I just arrived a couple days ago.” Well, it ain’t a lie. He ain’t gotta know I’ve lived here before.

 

“Well, since you’re new to town, I’ll be fair,” He answers slowly.

 

“That’s just fuckin’ great,” I answer sarcastically.

 

“I,” He pats my cheek hard, “Am,” Another smack, “Joaquin.” He smacks me harder this time. “Everything I say, goes.”

 

I’m diggin’ my nails into the palms of my hands to keep from wailin’ on this motherfucker. I was worried about whether I’d blow my cover by not bein’ able to feed. Right now, I’m more concerned that I’ll blow it by tearin’ their leader apart.

 

“Do you have nothing to say, gorgeous?”

 

“Yeah, keep callin’ me that and you’ll find out just why my friends call me Destroyer.”

 

B came up with that ridiculous nickname. We didn’t think I should use my actual name, since chances are that he might hear about me at some point. I thought about arguin’ but I really couldn’t come up with anything better.

 

He chuckles, “I’ll bet that is a rather interesting tale. So what do I call you, hmm?”

 

I give him a sly smile, “Call me Troy.”

 

He throws an arm over my shoulders and leads me away. “Well, Troy. How would you like to join my army?”

 

Forcin’ myself not to shove him away, I inject a small amount of intrigue into my voice, “An army? Ya don’t say.”

 

“Yes, and after the way you handled yourself with my men, I believe you’re perfect for it, Troy. There are all sorts of benefits for someone as motivated as you. Getting to kill the Slayers is just one of them. We might even let you keep one as a pet, if you’d like.”

 

“Show me,” I hiss.

 

I wonder how he’d feel if he knew I vamped out ‘cause I wanna tear him apart and not ‘cause I wanna get my hands on a Slayer. Don’t get me wrong, I wanna get my hands on a Slayer, but only one particular Slayer and not that way.

 

 

Chapter Seven: The Problem with Slayers

 

(Buffy’s POV)

 

“Where is she?” I mutter. “It wasn’t bad enough that I have two slayers that went missing tonight, now I have to worry about her too?”

 

I pace the floor of the mausoleum impatiently. Faith is an hour late and I’m starting to worry. If this were any other time, I’d believe she was just being Faith; irresponsible, irrational and irritating. But she knows the seriousness of this situation.

 

I blow out a sharp breath and shake my head. I still have a hard time thinking of Faith as a vampire and not a Slayer. Though if I understand what Faith said the other day, she’s technically still a Slayer.

 

My first reaction when Willow and Kennedy made their report four years ago... I didn’t deal well, and that’s putting it mildly. I did everything from accusing them of lying to blaming it on them. It took us months to get past the hurtful, cruel words we all spewed. The argument’s still a sore spot for all three of us.

 

I let out an explosive sigh and glance at the sports watch on my right wrist once again. Another half hour has passed and still no sign. I stop pacing and run my hand through my hair.

 

If I look for Faith, I might put us both in danger. If I find her, she might not even be in trouble and that will lead to extensive teasing. I know that from experience. But, if I don’t look for her and she’s in trouble...

 

My heart gives my answer for me. I can’t take that chance when I’ve only just gotten Faith back in my life. We have way too many things we really need to talk about.

 

“Oh, I am so going to kill her,” I groan and head for the entrance to the mausoleum.

 

***

 

(Faith’s POV)

 

There are things you don’t notice when you stay away from other people. I’ve realized that since B came back into my life. Like, I never noticed just how cute it is when she says the word ‘okay’.

 

Well, aight... maybe I did notice that one. I just wasn’t willin’ to admit it at the time. But seriously, I never noticed just how bad close proximity to a vamp makes me itch for a stake. Maybe that’s why I spent a lot of time tryin’ to kill Angel.

 

Nah, I just wanted him dead ‘cause he put his paws on my girl. I blow out an inaudible breath and glance around. Bein’ surrounded by vamps is settin’ my internal alarms off violently.

 

We haven’t even made it back to their encampment yet. Halfway there, we were met by a group of Joaquin’s men that were lookin’ for him. They’ve been whisperin’ excitedly to him this entire time as others set up a makeshift seatin’ area. I’m just grateful it got him to take his hands off me.

 

I hope this hasn’t got anything to do with B. Knowin’ her though, she’s probably knee deep in trouble by now. I ain’t the only one who has problems with followin’ orders, y’know.

 

I glance around and notice a couple of vamps approachin’. They’re leadin’ people on leashes behind ‘em. I tilt my head and furrow my brows.

 

Now, if that don’t beat all... I guess that’s what that son of a bitch meant by keepin’ a Slayer as a pet. I guess normal humans are acceptable too, ‘cause those chicks ain’t Slayers.

 

“Tonight, we celebrate!” Joaquin’s boisterous laughter calls his approach to my attention.

 

I tense as a hand claps my shoulder heartily and force a grin, keepin’ my eyes on the two “pets”. I lower my voice to a purr, “Really? I do love a good party.”

 

“I’m glad to hear it,” He answers happily and looks to where I’m starin’. “Ah, I see you’ve found a couple of our pets.”

 

“Yeah,” I nod. “Why haven’t they been turned yet?”

 

He grins, “Ah, we don’t turn anyone unless they prove to be worthy. Until then, we keep them to feed off of occasionally.”

 

“I get ya.”

 

He gives me a warnin’ look, “Anyone caught draining or turning someone without my permission will immediately be dealt with.”

 

“No worries there,” I mutter.

 

He briskly answers, “Good.”

 

A vampire grabs one of the “pets” and her scream is quickly cut off by a hand over her mouth. He sinks his fangs into her neck and I tense. I force myself to watch, knowin’ that the slightest thing could give me away.

 

The contradictin’ feelings the sight evokes have me so confused I’m gettin’ a headache. On one hand I’m angry at havin’ to just stand here and let it go on. The part of me that’s the Slayer wants to feel his body give way to my strength.

 

On the other... Oh God, I choke back bile and my stomach turns as I’m forced to admit it. On the other, I can almost taste the hot rush of her blood pumpin’ down my throat. I want so badly to feel the tender flesh of her neck give way to my hunger.

 

“Ah,” Joaquin murmurs. “I see that you are feeling the thirst, my young friend.”

 

I clench my jaw for a moment to keep from sayin’ anything that could get me in trouble. When I feel calm enough I turn to look at him. I just study him for a sec before I answer him.

 

“You could say that.”

 

“Let me see what I can do about that,” He says as he looks around. “Ah, there we are. I’ll be right back.”

 

I watch in horror as he approaches a vamp holdin’ two leashes. They speak for a moment and then the other vamp smiles broadly. Joaquin takes the offered leash and leads a small blonde towards me.

 

Oh fuck. The tinglin’ warns me before they even reach me. This one is a Slayer.

 

She lifts her head groggily and our gazes lock. Her eyes are glazed and now that I’m lookin’ closer, I can see that her breathin’ is kinda elevated. Drugs, I realize.

 

“Let me tell you this, Troy,” Joaquin says with a wide grin. “You will never taste anything like Slayer’s blood.”

 

My mind’s racin’ for excuses as to why I can’t do this. He’s gonna get suspicious if I turn it down. I have to try at least once, though.

 

“She’s drugged, ain’t she?”

 

“Yes, it’s the only way to keep them without endangering ourselves. The drugs are completely safe for us however. They’re a simple herbal mixture Aiden, my warlock, cooked up. Of course, we let it wear off for initiation night,” He laughs as he holds the leash towards me.

 

I feel my stomach drop. The only excuse I could find was that I don’t like my food to be tampered with, but he just shot that down with his answer. I take the leash reflexively.

 

“Why do ya let it wear off for initiation night?”

 

“The soldiers in my army have to be strong enough to defeat a Slayer and the Slayer has to be at full strength to provide a real challenge,” He answers with a low laugh.

 

“Yeah, I get that,” I answer absently.

 

He gives me an expectant look, “Now, aren’t you going to have a taste? I promise you won’t be disappointed.”

 

I reluctantly turn my attention to the chick in front of me. She’s shakin’ so bad I can see it without even tryin’ and tears are trailin’ silently down her face. Oh God, I don’t wanna do this. But even as I’m thinkin’ that, my face is shiftin’ forms.

 

I glance around and spot a pile of colorful pillows that have been scattered in one corner of the parkin’ lot we’re standin’ in. I make my way over there, guidin’ the Slayer along behind me and tryin’ to ignore Joaquin’s silently pacin’ figure. We reach the pillows just as a couple of vamps move one of the cans of burnin’ debris nearby for light.

 

I blow out a breath and hesitate. I know this ain’t gonna be very believable if I keep bein’ gentle with this chick, but I don’t want to make things worse. I look to our left and the sight of a vamp tearin’ into the neck of another woman makes me wince. It could be a lot worse for her than anything I might do, though.

 

I shove her down onto the pile of pillows and climb behind her. I grab a handful of her hair and force her head to the side to bare her throat. I let my eyes trace the area near her pulse and my attention narrows in on that point until it’s all I see. I lower my mouth and just as my fangs graze the pale skin, my eyes lift and what I see makes me curse silently as I freeze.

 

Goddamn her. She couldn’t just stick to the plan, could she? I didn’t want her to have to see me do this shit, but she’s left me with no choice now. And on top of that, I have to find a way to get her out of trouble, too.

 

Four guards are comin’ towards us, draggin’ a strugglin’ form between ‘em. The familiar pair of hazel eyes lookin’ back at me in terrified disbelief makes me curse again. The problem with Slayers, I muse. Is that they never, ever stick to the plan.

 

 

Chapter Eight: The Demon Within

 

In the time that it takes for Joaquin to notice their approach, my mind examines and discards a few ideas. The first involves stakin’ him, grabbin’ B and haulin’ ass back home. I nixed that one simply ‘cause I know B would get pissed at abortin’ the mission. The second involves ignorin’ B and goin’ about my business and my reaction to that one should be fairly obvious.

 

The third one I don’t like, but sometimes a vamp’s gotta do what a vamp’s gotta do. In this case, it involves some good old fashion violence between me and B. We’ve done it before, so it really ain’t anything new. Except this time it makes me angry ‘cause I don’t have any other option.

 

“Well, well. What do we have here?” Joaquin laughs as he stands, “If it isn’t the illustrious Chosen One, herself.”

 

He reaches out to touch her face and I’m surprised at the amount of vitriol I feel at the action. There are vivid images of death and mutilation flitterin’ through my head, and he’s the star of all of ‘em. Who knew I could be so fuckin’ inventive? I grin as Buffy spits at him and jerks away from his touch.

 

I shove the Slayer in my arms aside and stand next to Joaquin. I tilt my head and study B through narrowed eyes. I start at the toe of her boots and work my way up her body, pausin’ to admire the frustrated, rapid rise and fall of B’s chest. It ain’t the only thing I’m admirin’ there either.

 

By the time I’ve reached her eyes, it’s pretty obvious just what I was doin’. She’s starin’ daggers at me and the clenchin’ and relaxin’ of her jaw muscles tells me that she’s grindin’ her teeth. At the same time, a flush of shame and anger is workin’ its’ way up her neck to her face and I smirk.

 

“I want this one.”

 

Joaquin laughs and faces me. “You are ambitious for such a young one, Troy. Just how many years has it been since you were turned?”

 

“Four,” I reply. “It’s been four years since Dane turned me, and I sent him on a one way trip to Hell in return.”

 

His face freezes in a study of surprise for just a moment and then a wide, cruel smile forms on his face. He studies me carefully for just a moment and taps his chin thoughtfully. The glint I spotted earlier has returned and a ball of nervous tension forms in my gut.

 

I realize with dismay exactly why it makes my skin crawl now. I saw it in the mirror a Hell of a lot when I was younger. It’s the look of unrestrained malicious glee. It’s what happens when the demon within is unleashed, I guess.

 

He turns his attention to Buffy’s tiny form sprawled on the ground between the guards. He glances briefly at the bruised, bloodied guards and nods his head thoughtfully. Another second’s deliberation and he smirks.

 

“I think it would be fitting that the longest lasting Slayer is enslaved by a vampire as young as you, Troy,” He answers slowly and snaps his fingers at one of the nearby vamps. “You, bring me a collar and leash along with some of Aiden’s mixture.”

 

“I won’t need the mixture,” I reply with brash arrogance.

 

At least that’s what I’m sure it seems like to him. But I know B, and she ain’t gonna fight me; at least not yet. When she realizes what I’m gonna have to do to get us out alive, that’s when she’s gonna do it.

 

Joaquin dismisses the vamp as he hurries to do his biddin’ and then he glances at Buffy in amusement and pauses. I watch as he takes in the way her eyes refuse to leave me and then he laughs.

 

“Maybe you’re right at that, my young friend.”

 

The errand vamp returns quickly with the requested stuff and Joaquin kneels in front of Buffy. He grasps a tuft of her hair and I dig my nails into the palms of my hands again to keep from attackin’ him as I see her wince. One of the guards takes the collar from him and places it around B’s neck. Joaquin attaches the leash and stands, offerin’ the leash to me.

 

“In that case, consider her a gift from me to you.”

 

“Best fuckin’ gift I ever received,” I growl as I accept the leash.

 

He laughs. “I’m sure it is.”

 

I tug on the leash as I growl, “Get the fuck up.”

 

They’re gonna expect a show and I’ll have to give ‘em one. At least I know B can take it, unlike that poor kid he was gonna make me drink from. I also realize that she’s gonna have my head and not in the good way when this is over with.

 

She doesn’t react quickly enough and I reach down, clutchin’ a handful of her shirt in my fist and pullin’ her up. She stumbles, fallin’ right into my open arms and I laugh.

 

I ask slyly, “Eager much?”

 

I wrap an arm around her waist and drop the leash as I push her hair to the other side of her neck. I glance down at the lightly tanned skin below the black leather collar and the blood flowin’ beneath her flesh has me enthralled. I lower my head slowly and brush my lips over her pulse point. I whimper softly and slide my tongue over the smooth skin.

 

It takes longer than I would’ve expected for B to start strugglin’. She punches me in the side and I grunt in response. She isn’t even fightin’ that hard, I realize. She’s doin’ it for show.

 

I restrain her with both arms and tighten my hold on her ‘til I know it’s gotta be painful. She squeaks in protest and forces her body to go limp against me. I grin and my lips brush against her ear.

 

“Be careful, Slayer,” I hiss so low that she’s the only one who can hear me.

 

“Fuck you,” She snarls in reply.

 

“Oh you will,” I laugh loudly in reply.

 

I lower my head to her neck once again and drag my fangs over the soft skin. I know I’m not imaginin’ the shiver that moves her ever so slightly, or the subtle archin’ of her neck. Oh, ho, this is too fuckin’ good, I chuckle silently.

 

“You’re dead, Faith. I mean it,” She hisses in my ear.

 

“Mm-hmmm,” I murmur and tease her skin with my fangs again. “Tell me another one.”

 

She lets out an exasperated growl, “How about the one where I stake you in your sleep?”

 

“Don’t think I like that one,” I answer with one more pass of teeth over her neck.

 

“I can’t believe you’re doing...” She trails off with a low, hoarse moan when my fangs break through the skin.

 

My moan drowns hers out as hot, tangy blood fills my mouth. I should be disgusted, I know. But right now, the only thing that’s registerin’ in my mind is the warmth seepin’ into my insides and the warm, squirmin’ body in my arms. A low, throbbin’ pulse swells my clit as I grind against her hip.

 

I stumble back towards the pile of pillows and drop to my knees, takin’ her with me. I lay her down, not losin’ contact with her artery. My knee falls between her open thighs and grinds up into her unconsciously. She returns the contact by shovin’ her knee against my groin and I gasp as I break away from her neck.

 

I lap at the thin trickle of blood that leaks from the two puncture wounds and she tangles her fingers in my hair. We’ve both lost touch with where we are at this point. I sink my fangs into her neck once more and her fingers clench reflexively, holdin’ me to her. Animalistic grunts escape us both as we rut against each other.

 

Her hands leave my hair and slide down my back ‘til she finds the edge of my t-shirt. I groan against her flesh at the feel of her hands on my skin as her fingers caress my skin. Suddenly I feel her stiffen and her hands clutch at me as I hear her cryin’ out senselessly. I continue to press my knee against her, lettin’ her ride out her climax.

 

I let my fangs retract from her artery and my tongue soothes the puncture wounds again. I groan as a tiny orgasm rolls through me and bury my face against her neck. My hips continue to jerk against her, tryin’ to find more release. Another wave rolls over me, this one more intense and I’m on the edge of unconsciousness for a long, breathless second.

 

I’m still sprawled on top of B when things start makin’ sense again. There’s still a lingerin’ flush of heat circulatin’ in my body and I feel kinda disconnected. I don’t know if that was from drinkin’ B’s blood or from fuckin’ her. I think it’s a tossup.

 

Fuck, he wasn’t kiddin’ when he said I’d never taste anything like Slayer blood. I chuckle silently. This is the kind of high I never could’ve experienced when I was alive.

 

The sound of slow, loud clappin’ snaps me out of the daze I was driftin’ in. I jerk my head up and my eyes widen when I’m reminded of exactly where I am. Oh shit, B’s gonna kill me for real.

 

Goddamn it. I scramble off of B and straighten my shirt. I might just let her. All the times I dreamed about a first time with B, this kinda shit wasn’t even anywhere near my thoughts.

 

B sits up shakily and she gives me a lost, betrayed look as she huddles into herself. Jesus, I just want to hold her close and beg for her to forgive me but I know it ain’t gonna happen anytime soon.

 

“Great show,” Joaquin says loudly and saunters towards us.

 

I know I’ve done some bad things, but nothin’ seems to hold a candle to what I just did to B. I guess this is kinda what Angel was tryin’ to prepare me for. I thought I was ready for it, but I wasn’t. Now I’ve gotta pull myself together ‘cause I’ve all ready fucked one thing up, and I’ll be damned if I’ll fuck this up too.

 

I make a show of trailin’ my tongue over my lips to gather the stray drops of blood. I try not to look at B, not wantin’ to see the expression on her face. I stand and face him with a wicked grin.

 

“Glad you enjoyed it,” I purr.

 

“Oh, that I did,” He laughs. “Everyone else is ready to go, whenever you and your pet are.”

 

I glance over at her and she stands on unsteady legs. I can see her reluctance at approachin’ me and I arch an eyebrow, full of meanin’. Her shoulders slump and she makes her way over to me. I grab the leash that’s danglin’ from the collar at her throat and wrap it around my hand.

 

“Ready,” I smirk at his disbelievin’ look.

 

I guess he’s confused at her sudden compliance, considerin’ the shape his guards were in when they brought her over. Oh well, I won’t be the one to clear up his confusion. As long as he keeps misinterpretin’ her behavior, that’ll be fine with me.

 

What he sees is that she’s terrified and humiliated. What I see is that she’s enraged, disgusted, hurt, and a whole host of other things. There might be a little bit of fear thrown in there somewhere, but I can guarantee that it ain’t much.

 

 

Chapter Nine: Privileges and Limitations

 

The noise of the army’s excitement has finally settled into somethin’ a little more bearable. Their reaction to havin’ bagged the leader of the Slayers was... somethin’ to see. ‘Course most of ‘em are pissed that she’s off limits ‘cause she belongs to me. Joaquin made a show of remindin’ ‘em that touchin’ other people’s property without their permission was highly offensive to him, but I doubt their obedience will last for long.

 

The inside of the warehouse has been turned into an almost proper base. Joaquin’s promised to give me a tour once he gets the troops calmed. What I can see all ready is fuckin’ impressive.

 

A large table fills the center of the first floor and chairs encircle it. There are cages along the walls filled with weapons and other equipment of all kinds. Two sets of metal stairs on either side at the back of the warehouse lead to the other floors. I tilt my head back for a sec and note that I can see four landings at least.

 

I feel B’s hand clutch my belt and I chuckle silently. She’s been livin’ in my back pocket since we walked in here. I think she’s more than a little freaked. Then again, it ain’t natural to a Slayer to be surrounded by vamps and demons.

 

Now that I think about it, if this is makin’ my internal alarms sound, it’s probably makin’ hers go ape-shit. Unless all the vamp sex has fucked hers up, that is. Ugh, necrophilia jokes ain’t good for the mental state.

 

I feel B stiffen and glance around to see Joaquin approachin’ us. I give him a grin.

 

“Guess they’re happy?”

 

He smirks, “Ah, yes they are. Some are very disappointed that they won’t have a chance to play with your pet, but they know my rules.”

 

“Good to know. I’d hate to have to dust somebody for touchin’ my property,” I growl.

 

“Not to worry, my young friend. None here will lay a hand on her.” He claps his hands together and changes the subject, “Now, about that tour. Are you still interested?”

 

“Yeah,” I grunt.

 

“Great,” He replies enthusiastically.

 

I follow him over to the cages linin’ the left side of the room. B trails along after me, stayin’ close to keep some slack on the leash. Now that we’re gettin’ closer, I can see that the set of cages he’s leadin’ us to contains metal cases.

 

He opens one of the cage doors and pulls out a case. He opens it and hands it to me with a grin.

 

“Now these, are my pride and joy. All of my soldiers are equipped with a set. This set is for you.”

 

I let my eyes drop to the guns in the case and lick my bottom lip. Two of the modified Jericho 941 F’s of my very own. I lift my gaze and find his again, what has to be a wicked grin formin’.

 

I chuckle, “Oh, ho, the bad boys an’ girls do get all the fun toys.”

 

“That we do,” Joaquin laughs and lets his eyes track to Buffy’s.

 

“That we do,” He repeats.

 

I follow his gaze and lift my hand to trace a finger over her jaw. I can tell B wants to jerk her head away but she knows better. I let my fingertip rest on the center of her bottom lip for a sec and then my hand drops back to my side.

 

“Yeah,” I murmur.

 

The tone of my voice causes an alarmed look to flash across B’s face. I ignore it and turn my attention back to Joaquin. I lift an eyebrow at him.

 

“All part of the perks, eh?” I ask teasingly.

 

“And there are so many,” He answers.

 

***

 

After a short tour of the contents of some of the cages, he leads us upstairs to the second floor. My mind is still on the firepower they’ve got. He has a variety of well-maintained weapons and he told me that he’s in the process of makin’ sure everyone in his army can handle any type.

 

“As you can see, the second and third floors are simply used as barracks,” His voice interrupts my thoughts.

 

I look up and glance around, my eyebrow archin’ at what I see. Neatly arranged bunks line the walls with a set of lockers and a trunk to the left and at the foot of each. I feel a small amount of concern and a good dose of amusement at the continued organization of Joaquin’s outfit.

 

“Fuck,” Buffy chokes out quietly.

 

I snort and look at Joaquin to see if he heard her. He did. He’s lookin’ at her like she’s dinner and I really don’t like that. I sneer, almost unconsciously.

 

I look back at Buffy and grab her chin. I lean over and pull her into a harsh kiss before she can stop me. Her mouth parts in startled response and my tongue darts out to tease her lips before I slip it into the wet heat beyond. Her hands come up to my shoulders to shove me off and I wrap my arms tightly around her waist to hold her close as my tongue tangles with hers.

 

She struggles briefly and then falls limp against my chest as I feel the vibration of a groan in her chest. I slide one of my hands over her hip and up her flat tummy. I feel her squirm closer as I let my hand pause between her breasts and it’s my turn to moan at the feel of her heart poundin’ beneath the tight white t-shirt she’s wearin’. I jerk my hand away and nip her bottom lip sharply before I release her with a harsh shove.

 

“Keep your mouth shut, bitch,” I snarl.

 

I watch hungrily as she wipes at the thin line of blood streamin’ from her lip. She looks at her fingers and then glares up at me. Her nostrils flare as she struggles visibly not to attack me in return.

 

I blow her a kiss and shrug as I turn to look at Joaquin. His game face is on and the look he’s sportin’ is disturbin’ at best. I suppress a shudder and force my thoughts back to the matter at hand.

 

“What about the fourth floor?”

 

His eyebrows furrow and his face settles back into human form. He clears his throat.

 

“Only privileged members of the army are allowed up there. I’m afraid I cannot tell you more than that just yet.” He claps his hands together. “Why don’t we return downstairs and join the celebration?”

 

It’s now that the sound of loud rock music and rowdy noise comin’ from the lower floor registers. I glance at B for a sec and then pull her along as I follow Joaquin.

 

“Never could turn down an excuse to party.”

 

When I reach the bottom of the stairs, I stop and look around. Some of the vamps and demons are dancin’, some are startin’ up games and challenges, and a few are startin’ the more fulfillin’ festivities. A vamp standin’ a few feet away pulls one of the pets to him by her leash and sinks his fangs into her neck.

 

My eyes flutter shut and I breathe in deeply. The charged scents of lust and blood—need and hunger— hang heavy in the air like a bad mood and a wicked grin forms in response. I reopen my eyes and laugh as I swagger out onto the dance floor. The music is all ready callin’ to me and my body responds without hesitation.

 

 

Chapter Ten: Did My Time

 

A new song begins and a wry smile edges my lips as I recognize the openin’ to Korn’s song, “Did My Time”. I pull B to me by her leash and wrap an arm around her waist. The tension radiatin’ off her doesn’t deter me as I slip a thigh between her legs. I grip her hips and pull her close as I force her to move against me in time with the music.

 

Realized I can never win

Sometimes I feel like I have failed

Inside where do I begin

My mind is laughing at me

Tell me why am I to blame

Aren’t we supposed to be the same?

That’s why I will never tame

This thing that’s burning in me

 

This song’s the very definition of our relationship. I nip at her jaw and drop the leash as I tangle my fingers in her hair. I force her head aside and drag my tongue up her neck.

 

I knew I couldn’t win the second I met B and saw the devotion almost everyone had to her. I’ve been a failure since day one and my mind laughs at me over my feelings for her. Everyone blamed me for it all, even though we were both there. We could never really be the same though, ‘cause she’s always been too afraid to let loose.

 

I am the one who chose my path

I am the one who couldn’t last

I feel the life pulled from me

I feel the anger changing me

 

I did choose my path, and I didn’t have the strength to last as a Slayer. The anger and resentment I felt changed me too much. I recognized it all and never fully accepted the truth until I felt the coldness of death spreadin’ through me.

 

Sometimes I can never tell

If I’ve got something after me

That’s why I just beg and plead

For this curse to leave me

Tell me why I am to blame

Aren’t we supposed to be the same?

That’s why I will never tame

This thing that’s burning in me

 

My fangs graze the flushed skin over B’s artery and reflexively I bite down. I feel her jerk against me and I tighten my hold. The incredible rush of warmth floods me as her blood travels down my throat and I moan. I can’t believe I begged for this cursed existence to end when this feels so fuckin’ amazin’.

 

I am the one who chose my path

I am the one who couldn’t last

I feel the life pulled from me

I feel the anger changing me

 

I force my fangs to retract and jerk away from B, startled at my thoughts. Oh, fuck. God, I can’t— I bury my face against her skin and squeeze my eyes shut in horror.

 

Betrayed

I feel so enslaved

I really tried

I did my time

I did my time

I did my time

I did my time

I did my time

 

Why did she have to come to me for help? I did my time, paid my dues, whatever you want to call it. Really when it comes down to it, I did both. Prison and then death, both were really harsh punishments if you think about it.

 

I am the one who chose my path

I am the one who couldn’t last

I feel the life pulled form me

I feel the anger changing me

 

I was doin’ just fine ‘til she came back. And goddamn it, I think I’m losin’ control now. Somethin’ ain’t right, in any case ‘cause I’m startin’ to like this. I pull back and look in her eyes, surprised to see concern there. I see her flinch and I grin viciously as I lick the blood from my mouth.

 

Oh God, the anger’s changing me

 

I pull her into a bruisin’ kiss with the hand still tangled in her hair. She chokes back a cry when I force her mouth open with my tongue. I release her waist and grab her jaw with my other hand to hold her in place. It only takes a second for her to realize she’s free and she punches me in the gut before she shoves me away.

 

I stumble back a step and laugh as I straighten. I look at her for a sec, admirin’ my handy work. Her mouth’s swollen and bruised, and her hair’s tussled. Blood’s smeared around her lips and a thin red line’s tricklin’ down her neck to stain her shirt.

 

I give her a wide grin, my dimples on display and step back into her space. I cup her cheek and trace my thumb over her jaw. Without warnin’, I release her and bring my fist back to deliver an uppercut at full strength. She flies backwards and slams into a concrete support post, her head bouncin’ off it before she slides down to the ground.

 

“Stay down,” I snarl when she starts to get up.

 

I wait to make sure she’s goin’ to do what I say before my attention strays to a nearby vamp with four pets on leashes. He gives me an invitin’ grin and I check out the little blonde he’s got. Looks promisin’ and they’re gonna expect me to do it sometime anyway. I turn my back on B and walk toward the vamp as the song comes to an end.

 

Oh God, the anger’s changing me

 

***

 

(Buffy’s POV)

 

I didn’t mean to get caught earlier. I was trying to get closer to where they were so I could get a better view of Faith. One of the guards must have sensed something, ‘cause the next thing I knew ten vampires were coming at me. I dusted a few and did some damage to the rest before they stopped me.

 

I’ve been in an almost constant state of horrified shock since they dragged me in front of Joaquin. I think it was more the sight of seeing Faith’s fangs grazing a Slayer’s neck that affected me than anything else. I hope Leanne can get over what Faith was about to do to her, ‘cause if anyone’s going to kick her ass it’s going to be me.

 

I can’t describe the jumble of emotions that keep swamping me other than that initial jolt of complete rage and betrayal. I was so angry at her for doing that to me in front of all those people and I felt betrayed for reasons I don’t care to examine just yet. I can’t deny that having her touch me turned me on, but the time and the place was all wrong.

 

I’m not too sure I want to understand everything I’m feeling either because it’s too much, too strong. Her behavior is scaring the Hell out of me, though. It seems to be getting worse the longer we’re here too.

 

I’m trying not to think too much about everything that’s happened so far. If I let my emotions take control, I’ll blow everything. I can’t let that happen. Not only ‘cause I’m not ready to die again yet, but ‘cause too much depends on this. I’d also like the chance to decide if I want to stake Faith or kiss her.

 

I rub the back of my head where a lump is beginning to form. It’s throbbing painfully, but I ignore it as I force my eyes open. A gasp escapes me when I see Faith leading a small blonde away from a vamp. The look on Faith’s face is disturbing, to say the least.

 

I’m standing before I can even think. I need to talk to her before she does anything she’ll regret. I shove my way through the crowd until I’m right behind Faith. I grab her shoulder and jerk her around to face me.

 

I see her flinch and I’m probably the only one here who knows how much it took for her to not tear my head off. I’ve been in her body before and I recognize the tension rippling just beneath the surface. She’s terrified, angry, and very much on edge. I have to be careful here or she won’t be able to stop from shedding more blood here.

 

Not like she doesn’t have enough of mine all ready. I shake off the images the thought provokes. I really don’t want or need to go there right now.

 

“Didn’t I tell you to fuckin’ stay down?”

 

“Yes,” I answer weakly.

 

She smirks, “Then why the fuck are ya buggin’ me?”

 

“I just— I mean,” I stammer to a halt and blow out an exasperated breath as I close my eyes briefly. When I reopen them, she has a smug look on her face. God, how I would love to slap it off.

 

I wince and force myself to choke out, “Please, I’m sorry. Just let me take her place, and I swear I won’t cause any more trouble.”

 

She leans closer to me and growls, “And how do I know you’re tellin’ the truth, Slayer?”

 

“You only have my word.”

 

Her eyes flash yellow and then she snickers, “And what’s to stop me from takin’ you and then comin’ back for her anyway?”

 

I clench my jaw and grind out, “I’ll do whatever you want if you’ll leave the others alone.”

 

It’s killing me to have to say these things to her. Yes, I have feelings for her. But that doesn’t make it any easier for me to just hand control over to someone else. Since I’ve seen the others display that same problem, it has to be a Slayer thing.

 

Her gaze considers me and flicks to the small blonde for just a second before she turns to look at me. A kind of twisted grin forms on her face and I’m forced to suppress a shudder. I can’t decide if it disgusts me or turns me on. It’s just another thing I’m going to have to wait to think about.

 

“Aight,” She rasps almost inaudibly as she drops the leash and steps into my personal space. “You got it, B. Now give us a kiss to seal the deal.”

 

I have to force myself not to smirk as I step into the circle of her arms. She’s just so predictable. I lean up to press my mouth to hers and my eyes flutter shut. Her lips are harsh and unrelenting as she claims my mouth and it’s over quicker than I care for.

 

She chuckles quietly at the little whimper that escapes me and brushes the hair away from my neck. She starts to lower her mouth and I stop her with a hand in the middle of her chest. She looks up at me with an accusing look and I smile reassuringly.

 

“Not here, please?” I ask only loud enough for her to hear.

 

She looks like she’s going to refuse for a moment before she finally rolls her eyes and sighs in exasperation. “Aight, we can go back to mine.”

 

I kiss her again in gratitude. “Thank you.”

 

“Whatever,” She snarls as she turns to search for Joaquin.

 

 

 

Continued