Chapter Eleven: The Only One

 

(Faith’s POV)

 

Joaquin reluctantly agreed to let me stay in my own place for now. He said he could sympathize with my bein’ used to bein’ alone. But I’ll eventually have to move into the barracks when I’ve settled into the army. I can only hope we won’t be here that long.

 

Damn, this has been one fucked up day. I just keep havin’ to push what I’m feelin’ away though, ‘cause I’ll get scared and fuck up if I don’t. It’s almost too much for me to handle. In a way I’m grateful B’s here, ‘cause I know she’ll keep stoppin’ me from fuckin’ up big time like I almost did earlier with that girl.

 

It makes me sick that there’s a part of me that’s enjoyin’ this. There’s another part of me that doesn’t care that it’s happenin’, though. And every time I do somethin’ violent, those parts only get stronger. I’m feelin’ kinda schizo with all this goin’ on.

 

The walk home’s given me time to think. It at least calmed me down even if it didn’t help me make sense of anything.

 

I glance to my side where B’s walkin’ next to me. I don’t know what I’m gonna tell her. Or even what I should tell her. She deserves to know everything, but would she be able to handle all of it? Am I even strong enough to talk about what I’m goin’ through?

 

I’ve never been good at discussin’ my problems, obviously. There have been a few times when I had no other choice but to spill, but even then it was almost impossible to get the words out.

 

We turn down the driveway to my dumpy little home away from home and step up onto the porch cautiously. The boards flex and creak under our weight and we hurry to get inside the house. I shut the door and motion for B to wait while I check the house. I step into the kitchen and let out a groan when I feel B followin’ behind me.

 

I turn to face her and growl, “Why can’t you do what the fuck you’re supposed to, B?”

 

She crossed her arms over her chest and rolls her eyes. “I’m not just going to stand by and do nothing, Faith.”

 

“Y’know, I think I’m startin’ to understand why demons have it in for ya, B.”

 

She opens her mouth to respond and then snaps it shut again. After a long time, she blows out an exasperated breath and shakes her head.

 

“We don’t have time to fight this out right now, Faith. We need to figure out what we’re going to do.”

 

She sighs and adds quietly, “And eventually, we’re going to have to have a talk about what happened.”

 

I lower my eyes at that and my anger evaporates. My shoulders slump and I shrug as I turn back to the kitchen.

 

“After we make sure nobody’s in here.”

 

***

 

The house was empty, as I’d thought it would be. I just had to be sure first. Now we’re sittin’ on a pile of blankets with only a small battery operated lantern for light. She’s sittin’ opposite me and lookin’ at me expectantly.

 

I roll my eyes and lean back against the wall. I don’t know how to start this. My eyes fall on the now healing punctures and bruises on her throat beneath the collar. Oh wait, yeah I do.

 

“Why the fuck were you followin’ me tonight?”

 

She tenses and tries to duck the responsibility, “This isn’t about what I did.”

 

“Oh yes it is,” I laugh humorlessly. “I wouldn’t have had to resort to any of this shit if you’d have kept your ass at home, B!”

 

“Oh, so it’s my fault?” She replies defensively.

 

I see tears wellin’ up in her eyes and groan. Shit, this is impossible.

 

“No,” I growl. “It’s not your fault. I’m the one who couldn’t think of anything better.”

 

Oddly enough, her shoulders slump and she brings her knees up to her chest. She wraps her arms around her legs and shakes her head.

 

“It’s neither of ours’ faults, Faith,” She says so quietly I almost don’t hear it. “I don’t think I’d have done any better.”

 

How can she say that after what I did? I fuckin’ raped her in front of our enemy. It doesn’t matter that she enjoyed it while it was happenin’. The fact still remains that she trusted me and I violated her—with an audience. And to make it worse, I enjoyed it.

 

I swallow hard, tryin’ to ignore the swellin’ in my clit at the memory. I reply huskily, “Sure ya would’ve, B. I just keep fuckin’ up ‘cause I’m losin’ my fuckin’ mind.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

I wince and let my gaze drop to the blankets. I can’t let her see how I’m really feelin’. She doesn’t need to know right now anyway. She’s gotta be able to trust me and she won’t be able to if I tell her the truth.

 

“I don’t know. I’m confused and more than a little disturbed right now, B. Playin’ this part ain’t any easier for me than it is for you.”

 

“I guess you’re right,” She mutters wryly. “I’m not the one who had to drink someone’s blood.”

 

“Exactly,” I reply deadpan.

 

Silence falls and my eyes drift back up. The collar around her throat catches my attention and I wince. I gesture at it.

 

“Why the fuck do you still got that thing on?”

 

“I hadn’t really thought about it,” She chuckles as she reaches up to take it off.

 

I see that she’s strugglin’ with the collar and I bite back a few choice words ‘cause I know what’s gonna come next. She looks up at me with her hands still fiddlin’ with the buckles at the back of her neck and I clench my jaw in anticipation.

 

“Faith, can you give me a hand?”

 

I get up reluctantly and approach. I’ve been tryin’ to keep my distance ‘cause I don’t know how I might react. That and I ain’t in the mood for another of her punches tonight. My stomach still hurts like fuck from earlier.

 

“Lemme see it.”

 

I bat her hands away and brush her hair over her shoulder and out of the way. I have to force my eyes not to stray to her exposed neck as I work the leather strap out of the buckles. The heat of her back soaks through my jeans and my hands shake almost unnoticeably. My breathin’ sounds unnaturally loud in the silence of the room and I’m prayin’ for the stupid fuckin’ collar to give all ready.

 

“So do you have any idea of what we’re going to do next?”

 

I jerk, startled by the sound of B’s voice. The last buckle snaps open and I toss the collar to the side as I back up hurriedly. I lean back against the fireplace and let my gaze fall as she turns to face me.

 

“I have an idea, but ya ain’t gonna like it.”

 

I can feel her starin’ at me but I can’t meet her eyes. Ain’t gonna like it is an understatement, she’s gonna be pissed as Hell. But we’ve got a job to do and what we want doesn’t mean shit right now. Too many lives are on the line for us to fuck up.

 

She lets out a breath and I hear the blankets rustle. Out of the corner of my eye I see her stand and come towards me. I tense and cross my arms over my chest.

 

She stops just an inch or so away from me and tries to catch my gaze. “Look at me, Faith.”

I look up at her and bite my bottom lip. I shake my head and release it.

 

“What is it?” B asks warily.

 

I drop my arms and shove off from the fireplace. I walk around her and go to the other side of the room. I ignore her obvious confusion and the hurt in her eyes.

 

“We ain’t doin’ anybody any good, both of us bein’ here.”

 

“What’s your point, Faith? It’s not like we can do anything about it now.”

 

“You can escape today. Get back to HQ and let ‘em know what’s goin’ down.”

 

I can see it ain’t sittin’ well with her in the immediate tensin’ of her jaw. I ain’t givin’ in on this, though. I can’t. There’s too much at stake here.

 

I’ll admit only to myself that I’m scared shitless that I’ll snap as soon as she’s not around but there are other things that worry me more. If I lose control with her here, she’ll be my first target. I love her too much to take that chance. Not only that, but if it does happen, she’d be the only one with a chance of stoppin’ me.

 

I’m also a little afraid that I’ll fuck up and blow my cover. I’ll be dusted faster than I can react if that happens and then it’ll be open season on B. I can’t let that happen.

 

“You can’t be serious,” She scoffs and her brows furrow.

 

She approaches me again and I bite back an annoyed growl. I force myself to stay where I am, though. She tends to strike back when she gets hurt.

 

“I am serious, B. This whole thing is ridin’ on our shoulders. I’m the one who has to deal with Joaquin. When everything goes down, you’re the only one who can lead our army into the battle.”

 

She stops right in front of me and laughs humorlessly. “You know, I thought after Sunnydale I wouldn’t have to deal with this any more. I’m not the only Slayer, Faith! They can handle this without me.”

 

I close the short distance between us and lean forward, gettin’ in her face. I snarl, “You’re the only one who can do this! The rest of them got the power, but they ain’t shit compared to either of us and you know it, B!”

 

“I’m not leaving,” She growls as she shoves at my shoulders, forcin’ me back a step.

 

“Yes – you – are,” I answer coolly, tryin’ to ignore my risin’ anger.

 

 

Chapter Twelve: Lies We Tell Ourselves

 

“No, I’m not!”

 

She shoves me again and I slam into the wall. I try to move and she grabs my tank top, twistin’ it in her fists as she pushes me back against the wall. We struggle, gruntin’ in frustration and anger. She jerks her knee up into my groin and I groan at the pain.

 

I shake my head roughly and try to take a deep breath to calm down but it doesn’t help. Countin’ to ten doesn’t help either.

 

Aight, that’s it! There’s only so much someone can put up with before it becomes too much. And I think she just shoved me right the fuck over the line.

 

I shift to game face and bring my arms up between hers, powerin’ through her hold and forcin’ her to let go. I shove her back away from me and jump up, kickin’ away from the wall to flip over her head. I land and turn just as she comes runnin’ at me.

 

I barely have time to plant my feet ‘fore her shoulder slams into my gut and she rams me back against the fireplace. The mantle crumbles from the force of my head crashin’ into it and a crack spreads up the wall in the bricks. A sharp ringin’ fills my ears.

 

I waver in and out of consciousness, unable to push away the pain or find the breath that was knocked out of me. Small, deceptively strong hands cup my face and I’m brought back to reality to find B starin’ at me, guilt and concern floodin’ her expression.

 

I blink and try to jerk away from her, only to gasp at the jolt of pain that spreads across the back of my skull. I try to reach up to touch it and she smacks my hand away.

 

“I think you have a concussion. Don’t move too much. It’ll only make it hurt worse.”

 

“Shit, B,” I groan. “I get that you’re pissed at me, but couldn’t ya have found some other way to show it? I hate concussions.”

 

“God, I’m so, so sorry,” She chokes out. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I just got so angry and...” She trails off with a helpless shrug.

 

“It’s just the same old song and dance then, huh?”

 

I get that I shouldn’t be such a bitch. It shouldn’t surprise me that we fought, either. I’m lucky it wasn’t a lot worse, really. But, fuck, this hurts! I’m dizzy and kinda nauseous too so there’s no way in fuckin’ Hell I can be nice right now.

 

Her thumbs stroke my cheeks and her eyes search my face. Her eyebrows scrunch up and she sighs as she lets me go. She blinks and a tear trickles down her cheek.

 

“I—I can’t, I mean, I d—don’t...” She trails off with a pained look.

 

Shit, I can’t let this go on. We’ll be here all night if we keep beatin’ ourselves up. I let out a frustrated breath and reach out, grabbin’ her around the waist and pullin’ her to me. She stiffens and I wrap both arms around her in a tight embrace.

 

I ain’t too sure what to do here, but I’m gonna play it by ear. I rub her back gently with one hand and nuzzle my mouth against her hair ‘til I reach her ear. I take a deep breath and the scent of her fills me, makin’ me sigh.

 

“It’s aight, B. We fight sometimes, that’s just how we roll.”

 

She relaxes and buries her face in my shoulder. Her voice comes out muffled, “It’s not all right, Faith. How can we have a re—” She cuts herself off and shakes her head.

 

I gently palm the back of her head and prompt her, “Have a what, B?”

 

‘Course I know what she was gonna say, but I really wanna hear her say it. I wanna hear her admit that there’s somethin’ happenin’ between us. I wanna know how she really feels about it, too. I wanna know if it’s as amazin’ to her as it is to me.

 

She lifts her head and I can tell by the look in her eyes I ain’t gonna hear it tonight, though. I shrug and give her a sad, knowin’ grin. I get it. Right now ain’t the time to get into that and this definitely ain’t the place I wanna have that discussion anyway.

 

I wanna lay on the charm thick when we finally get to that point. And this right here— a rundown house, torn and dirty, sweat soaked clothes? Nah, this shit ain’t anywhere near what I consider romance.

 

She brings a hand up to my face again and gently trails a finger down my jaw. I know we need to discuss the plan, but I’m mesmerized by the look she’s given me. It’s soft and adorin’, and there’s this cute half-grin playin’ at one corner of her mouth. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look at even soul-boy this way before.

 

She leans forward and I can’t help but follow. Our mouths meet and my eyes flutter shut at the gentle pressure of her lips on mine. Our lips glide over each other’s and she sucks my bottom lip into her mouth, nibbling it playfully.

 

Her hands find my hips and she pulls me closer. I tighten my hold on her and a moan rumbles in my chest as her tongue laps at my lip. She darts her tongue into my mouth and it twists around mine, makin’ my mind create all kinds of images of what else she could do with it. I growl and the kiss suddenly changes, becomin’ hard and needy.

 

She squirms against me, tryin’ to get closer and I happily comply. I grab her thighs and hoist her up, lettin’ her legs encircle my waist as her arms go about my neck. God, this gets so out of control with us so fuckin’ fast. We fuck like we fight— full of passion and determination.

 

I stumble blindly to the blankets. My head wound ain’t even registerin’ anymore. The only thing that matters to me now is the blonde wildcat in my arms and the insistent grindin’ of her blue jean covered pussy against my lower belly. The wet heat comin’ off her and the heady scent of her arousal has both sets of my lips waterin’.

 

I drop to my knees and lay her back in the pile of blankets, coverin’ her body with mine in one fluid motion. One of my hands is all ready grappling with her belt as the other is slidin’ up her thigh. I pull the belt from her loops and reach for her fly. Firm hands cover mine, stoppin’ my progress and I growl as B forces her mouth from mine.

 

She pants, “God, Faith. W—we have to stop.”

 

I capture her lips again and murmur against the pliable flesh, “No we don’t.”

 

She turns her head away from me and whimpers. “Yes, we do.”

 

I drop my head onto the blankets by hers and grumble, “Says who?”

 

“Faith,” She says exasperatedly.

 

My shoulders slump and I roll off her onto my back. I get what she’s sayin’, and I believe it too, but I gotta wait for my body to stop hummin’. She snuggles up to me and I bite my lip as I try to keep from touchin’ her. This really ain’t helpin’ me any.

 

“I don’t want to leave you,” She whispers.

 

I sigh as we’re brought back to what started all of this. I push my hormones back for the time bein’. There’ll be plenty of time for those later. Hopefully.

 

I kiss her forehead and let my head drop back onto the blankets. “B, you have to.” I lick my bottom lip and savor her taste as I search for a plausible explanation.

 

Reluctantly, I consider everything that happened. Havin’ her at my side comforted me, but it made me tense as Hell too. Maybe I can play it that way.

 

I blow out a breath. Only one way to find out.

 

“B, I can’t keep my cover if you’re still around. I hate what I’ve had to do to you, and it’s only gonna get worse. It’ll be safer for both of us if you go back to HQ.”

 

***

 

(Buffy’s POV)

 

As angry and confused as I am, I can’t stand the idea of her being alone in that place. I hate the thought of leaving her with no one to watch her back. But I know she’s right. As much as I hate leaving her alone, I hate the thought of being a liability even more.

 

Frustrated, I lift up onto my elbow and look down into her dark eyes. Finally, I close my eyes and let my shoulders slump.

 

“All right, I’ll go.”

 

Strong arms wrap around my shoulders and she pulls me on top of her. I bury my head into the crook of her neck and breathe in the scent of her as I struggle not to cry. A sob forces past the lump in my throat and she tightens her hold on me.

 

“I’ll be aight. Don’t cry,” She whispers over and over in my ear. God, I hope that’s true.

 

 

Chapter Thirteen: Dangerous Games

 

(Faith’s POV)

 

B and I fell asleep in each other’s arms after we were done discussin’ our plans. We still have plenty to talk about, but the rest has to wait ‘til we’re done with this shit. I hate havin’ to put it off, but I’m not really lookin’ forward to it either. She has feelings for me, I know that now, but there’s so much between us. Our past, the fact that I’m a vampire, all of it could serve to be the most effective clit blocker ever.

 

This mornin’ was amazin’ though. It was the first time I’ve ever held someone while they slept. I can still feel the phantom warmth of her pressed against me. It’s goin’ a long way to combat the chill comin’ at me from Joaquin.

 

B snuck out while I was asleep, like we’d decided. That way I could tell him that she escaped while I was sleepin’. We figured that the closer to the truth we stayed, the less complicated things would get. We even set up a few things at the house to match my explanation—thing is, he ain’t bein’ too cooperative.

 

I ain’t even got to explain it yet. I barely got out the words, “She escaped,” ‘fore he blew his top and told me to shut up. He sent me outside for a minute and then called me back in as one of his goons left. My guess is he sent that guy to go scope out the sitch and he’s waitin’ to see if I’m tellin’ the truth ‘fore he decides to dust me.

 

That was thirty minutes ago, though. I’ve just been standin’ here in the middle of the warehouse with him sittin’ in a chair at the head of the table. Two of his guys have their Jericho 941 Fs trained on me.

 

I’m surprised he didn’t have ‘em take mine off me. Then again, it ain’t like he knows I could pull ‘em ‘fore his boys could pop off a shot. I ain’t gonna tell him either. I like surprises.

 

Ah, here his guy comes. He crosses the room and drops the armful he brought with him on the table in front of Joaquin. He clears his throat.

 

“This is what I found at her place, boss.”

 

Joaquin sifts through the pile of blankets and rope and then glances up at me. “Leave us. I’ll send someone for you once we’ve finished.”

 

I roll my eyes and leave. I can faintly make out the sounds of his lackey’s harried voice as I let the heavy door slam behind me. I search through my jacket pockets ‘til I find a pack of Marlboro Reds and I take out a cigarette and my lighter. I feel a distinct sense of pleasure as I take the first hit.

 

This is the first cigarette I’ve had since we arrived. I didn’t wanna hear B bitchin’ ‘bout the smell, so I just left it ‘til now. It ain’t like I’m really addicted to it anymore. It’s more a habit than anything.

 

I lean back against the wall and blow a perfect circle into the air. Right about now, Joaquin’s probably found the blood on the blanket. I grimace.

 

We fought about that one. I didn’t wanna have to hurt her anymore, but B said it would be more convincin’ if there was some of her blood in the house too. Mine had all ready been spilled with my head wound. Then she told me I could either bite her, or she’d just find a knife to cut her hand with to get it done.

 

Unfortunately, it wasn’t common sense that decided it. The vamp part of me took serious affront at the thought of her blood gettin’ spilled by anything other than my fangs.

 

My grumblin’ stomach reminds me that it’s been six hours since I drank from her and I wince. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to go without takin’ someone’s blood. I haven’t been able to go long since I finally gave in that first time all those years ago. I swore then that I’d never let myself get desperate enough to go after a rat again.

 

The door opens and I look up to see one of Joaquin’s goons approachin’ me. I give him a nod and move towards him.

 

“What’s up?”

 

“Boss wants you to come back inside,” He answers. “You better be prepared to answer his questions, bitch.”

 

My eyes narrow and I slam my shoulder into his as I pass. “Call me bitch again and I’m gonna fuck you up, motherfucker.”

 

I shove the door open and let it slam behind me again as I enter. I ignore the vamps waitin’ on either side of the room. Guess they heard somethin’ and wanted to see the show.

 

I stop in front of the chair opposite Joaquin’s and put my hands on it as I lean forward. I lift an eyebrow at him.

 

“So what’s the what?”

 

“Sit down,” Joaquin waves towards the chair I’m leanin’ on.

 

“That’s aight. I think I’d rather stand.”

 

“All right, have it your way then. But you will tell me exactly what happened when you left here.”

 

I roll my shoulders. “That’s what I’ve been tryin’ to do since I got here.”

 

“Then please, forgive my rudeness and do go on.”

 

I smirk. “Aight, I ain’t usually into the whole kiss and tell thing, but I’ll make an exception for you.” That’s a lie, but he ain’t gotta know it.

 

He nods. “I would very much appreciate it.”

 

“I took her back to my crib. We fought, I fucked her and drank. Then I tied her up so I could get some sleep.”

 

“All right,” He drawls. “Then what happened? I’m really curious as to how she escaped from someone as skilled as you are.”

 

“As surprisin’ as it may be, I guess I just ain’t as charmin’ as I thought,” I snicker. “She was gone when I woke up and the ropes had been sawed through. I didn’t know there was broken glass in the corner I dumped her in.”

 

“Ah, I see.”

 

His next comment is interrupted by the growlin’ of my stomach. I smile sheepishly and shrug at him.

 

“It’s been a few. I came here immediately after realizin’ what had happened.”

 

He tilts his head and studies me curiously. After a long, tense second, he smirks and waves to one of his goons.

 

“Loyalty such as that deserves a reward,” He muses. “Bring my friend here one of our broken pets.”

 

I jerk my gaze back to Joaquin’s as his goon leaves the room. I really don’t like the sound of that.

 

“Broken pets? Who are they?”

 

“They are Slayers who’ve been bled so often that they have neither the energy nor the willpower to present any real challenge.”

 

My stomach drops at that and I struggle to keep my reaction from showin’. Couldn’t he have just brought me one of the humans? Why is this motherfucker determined to feed me a fuckin’ Slayer?

 

Thing is, that dark part of me that has me frightened out my fuckin’ mind? It’s thrilled. The buzz of exhilaration builds in my gut, makin’ a twisted grin spread across my lips. I close my eyes briefly as my face contorts into game form. When I open my eyes, I look directly at Joaquin.

 

“Thank you.”

 

The energy fillin’ me increases at the familiar signals my body sends up my spine. I stand as the door swings open and Joaquin’s goon comes back in, pullin’ a tiny brunette in after him by her leash. I clench my hands in anticipation and meet them halfway.

 

This is gonna be fuckin’ wicked. I jerk the leash away from the goon and pull the Slayer to me as I turn us to face Joaquin. I pause, my eyes searchin’ her pale, drawn profile. Her gaze stays on the floor, her entire body screamin’ resignation.

 

I grab her hair in my fist, forcin’ her head to the side and exposin’ her throat. I study the bruised, scarred flesh impassively. Dark, purple bruises overlap faded yellow ones and slowly healin’ bite marks cover scars of old. I smirk.

 

“You’re pathetic,” I hiss. “A stronger Slayer would kill herself before lettin’ some vamp turn her into his bitch.”

 

She doesn’t look at me, but I can see the sudden tension that fills her. Her body almost vibrates with it. I look up at Joaquin.

 

“What exactly do ya want me to do with her?”

 

“Drain her.”

 

Gladly, I muse distantly. I laugh darkly as I lunge for her throat. My fangs tear into the soft, supple flesh and I hear her cry out faintly. I wrap my free arm around her waist, pinnin’ her writhin’ body to mine.

 

Oh fuck, it’s good. So different than B’s, but still one of the most exotic things I’ve ever tasted. Her fear and anger makes it that much better. This could become addictive.

 

My eyes drift open and I find Joaquin’s dark eyes watchin’ expectantly, his game face showin’. I know what he wants.

 

Give it to him, my mind whispers. Bleed her dry.

 

Oh, I will. I chuckle inwardly as somethin’ inside snaps. This is what I am.

 

As her struggles lessen, the voice in my head screamin’ for me to stop grows faint. All the reasons why I shouldn’t do this drift away ‘til the hot rush of her blood and the warmth fillin’ me are all I know. I can hear her heartbeat slowin’ and then it’s silent. I tear my mouth away, shreddin’ her skin as my fangs retract. I let her body fall to the floor.

 

I glance down at her corpse dispassionately and then let my eyes lift to find Joaquin starin’ at me in surprise. I smile broadly, the blood in my mouth makin’ it grotesque.

 

“Any other fun reindeer games ya wanna play?”

 

 

Chapter Fourteen: Let the Games Begin

 

Joaquin clears his throat and forces his face back to human form. “Ah, no, no, that was all, Troy.”

 

“Good to know,” I answer coolly.

 

He gestures another of his goons forward. This guy is one big son of a bitch. His muscles strain against his tight black muscle shirt and he towers over everyone else. His skin is so dark, it’s almost midnight black and he moves with fluidity I didn’t expect from someone his size.

 

“Remove the Slayer’s body, Dionne,” Joaquin rumbles.

 

He grunts in answer and pushes his way past the people standin’ in his way. He crouches down in front of me and hoists the Slayer up onto his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He nods at me and then leaves.

 

I lift an eyebrow. “Interestin’ help ya got here.”

 

He grins. “Isn’t it though?”

 

I pull the seat opposite him out and turn it around, straddlin’ it. I prop my arms on the back of it and sigh.

 

“So, how much trouble am I in for losin’ the Slayer?”

 

He rubs his jaw and then shrugs. “Capturing her was simply a bonus, so her escape really doesn’t make much of a difference. While I’m not happy that she now knows where our base is located, it changes nothing. I doubt she’s stupid enough to try to bring her girls in here.”

 

He stands and moves around the table ‘til he’s at my side. He leans his hip against the corner of the table.

 

“There are far too many of us, really.”

 

“Out of curiosity, just how many soldiers do we have?”

 

“Six hundred,” He answers with a wide grin. “The majority of us are vampires, but we are slowly recruiting a few demons here and there. We even have a couple of humans to do our daylight business.”

 

“How’d ya get a human to agree to do anything for us?”

 

“They are simply pets who enjoy the bite. The promise of turning them keeps them loyal,” He laughs.

 

I smirk. “Yeah, I bet.”

 

He tilts his head and considers me. “So what would it take to keep you loyal, Troy?”

 

A bossy little blonde Slayer, I force myself not to smirk at the thought. I shrug instead.

 

“I hate followin’ orders,” I scowl. “Other than that, I don’t got a reason not to be loyal. I get a boss who likes to give me gifts, cool toys, a place to crash.”

 

He laughs. “I think we can make some arrangements to accommodate you. How would you like to be in charge of your own unit? The only person you would take orders from would be me.”

 

“I don’t know. What’s in it for me?”

 

His game face contorts his features and he grins. “A front row seat when everything goes down and as much fun as you can handle in the meantime. You get second pick of anything that comes through here.”

 

I lift a lazy eyebrow. “Meanin’ what?”

 

“Meaning that you get the best of the toys, the pets,” He leers, “And anything else you desire.”

 

I shift to game face and purr, “Really now?”

 

He leans closer. “You could even have me if it helps your decision any.”

 

I lick my lips and his gaze trails my tongue. Oh, this fucker is as good as mine.

 

“Sounds promisin’,” I breathe.

 

***

 

The cemetery’s empty when I get there, but I can feel her. It doesn’t take me long to pinpoint the mausoleum she’s in. I pause with my hand on the door and stiffen when my eyes confirm what my senses are screamin’. The shadows near the entrance would hide him from anyone’s sight but a Slayer.

 

I watch him for a minute and then sneak around the side of the mausoleum. I slip between two trees and press up against one, silently pullin’ my dagger from the sheath on my belt. I don’t have long to wait ‘fore I hear the faint rustle of leaves and gravel.

 

I’ve had a hell of a time gettin’ away from Joaquin the past few days. Tonight’s been the first time I’ve been able to slip away. He’s found plenty of excuses to keep me close and I’ve been kinda encouragin’ it in the hopes that it would get us better info. I hope to God what I learned is helpful.

 

Fuck, I hope I can get this over with ‘fore I have to actually let him touch me. I don’t know if I’ll be able to put him off much longer without raisin’ his suspicions further than they all ready are. He hasn’t done it since, but I kinda realized that Slayer he had me drain was a test. He doesn’t trust me any more than I trust him.

 

The vamp that’s been trailin’ me comes around the side of the mausoleum and I grab him. I slam him back against the tree and stab my dagger through his shoulder, pinnin’ him to the tree. I slap a hand over his mouth to silence his scream.

 

I snarl, “You alone?”

 

He nods rapidly and I smirk. “Why don’t I believe ya?”

 

His eyes widen and he tries to speak. His voice is muffled and he rolls his eyes in irritation.

 

“You gonna stay quiet, fucker?” He nods again. “Do anything to alert anyone and I’ll treat you to a torture session worse than anything you could imagine.”

 

I move my hand and grip the dagger’s hilt. I twist it a little to make my point.

 

He clamps his jaw shut to keep from screamin’. I let my hand rest on the hilt and lift an impatient eyebrow at him.

 

“My orders were to keep an eye on you and call in every half hour to report. I don’t know why, I swear,” He chokes out.

 

I snicker and reach inside my jacket to retrieve my stake. It finds a new home in his chest ‘fore he can protest and I catch my dagger, returnin’ it to the sheath as I step back out into the open. I tuck the stake back inside my jacket and wipe his ashes from the black leather pants and the dark red silk shirt Joaquin gave me today. I pause in front of the mausoleum and look around once more before I let myself in.

 

I find Buffy leanin’ against a stone pillar in the outer chamber of the mausoleum. Our eyes meet as I saunter across the room. I don’t stop walkin’ ‘til our bodies brush against each other. I lean towards her and pause with our mouths a breath apart, waitin’.

 

She cups the back of my head and pulls me into a fierce kiss. I grasp her hips and pull her tight against me. Fuck, I missed her more than I knew. I slip my tongue into her mouth and her moan makes my pussy clench.

 

B pulls back and puts a hand on the center of my upper chest to keep me from followin’. She shakes her head at me.

 

“We don’t have time for this, Faith.”

 

My lower lip juts out and I mumble, “Hate you, B.”

 

“Uh-huh, I hate you too,” She giggles.

 

Our eyes meet again and goofy smiles sprout. We stand there silently for a minute, just baskin’ in each other’s presence. I wouldn’t admit to anyone that I did this, though. I got a rep to protect, y’know?

 

“Can you give me a report of what’s happened the past few days? I need something to take back to our ever curious Giles.”

 

The question causes the smile to slide off my face. I blow out a breath and turn away from her. I study the stone wall in front of me.

 

“He was seriously pissed when I first told him that you were gone. He had one of his guys go check it out. Then he put me through one of his little tests.”

 

“What kind of test?” B asks after a few moments of silence.

 

I turn back around to face her and I consider her for a long span of time. Then I tell her, carefully keepin’ my voice void of any emotion.

 

“They hold the captured Slayers as pets for a while ‘fore they use ‘em in initiations. Thing is, some of ‘em become broken. They lose the will fight and they’re no longer useful, so he gives ‘em to his lieutenants to drain.”

 

“What?” She asks sharply.

 

B’s face darkens and she grabs the lapels of my jacket, jerkin’ me closer as she leans up to get in my face. She studies my eyes for a moment and then abject sorrow floods her expression. She shakes her head.

 

“No, Faith. Tell me you didn’t.”

 

“I did what I had to,” I answer her flatly and jerk out of her grasp.

 

“You took someone’s life, Faith!” She chokes out. “How can you just stand there and act like it doesn’t matter?”

 

I laugh bitterly. “Whatever it takes, right, B? Least that’s what you said before.”

 

“T—that was...” She trails off and her face crumples as tears leak from her eyes.

 

“That was ‘fore ya knew just how much of the demon I really am,” I finish for her with a sardonic grin and turn to leave.

 

 

Chapter Fifteen: Gotta Have Faith

 

(Buffy’s POV)

 

Incredulously, I watch as she turns away from me. I knew she might have to do things like that, but having it actually happen is something else entirely. I hate this so much. It reminds me too much of what happened when we killed Finch.

 

I never should have let her convince me that she’d be better off if I left. It seems to me that she’s in more danger now than ever. I blow out a breath and shake my head. I don’t have time for this.

 

“Faith, wait,” I call out. “We’re not finished, yet.”

 

She pauses with her hand on the door handle. “Yeah, we are, B.”

 

“I need the rest of your report.”

 

She turns to look at me and snorts. She crosses her arms over her chest and leans back against the door.

 

“I’ve been gettin’ close to him like Giles asked me to. I’ve learned a few things, but nothin’ too helpful. I need a few more days.”

 

I force my mind to move past her first statement. I can’t dwell on just how close she might be getting with him. Jealousy is no one’s friend.

 

“What have you learned so far?”

 

She shrugs. “He’s gatherin’ troops right now. He’s got around 600 at this point. They’ve got some humans on their side and a few demons too. Most of his people are vamps though.”

 

“Oh,” I mutter.

 

Damn, that doesn’t sound promising for us. I think it might help that there are mostly vampires on his side. It gives us at least one edge over them. It disturbs me that that creep has humans helping him though.

 

“Can I go now? It’s gettin’ kinda late,” She interrupts my thoughts anxiously.

 

“Yeah, Faith,” I answer slowly. “But we really need to consider getting you out of there.”

 

“Whatever.”

 

I watch her leave and then I let out a shuddering breath. It takes every ounce of strength I have not to start crying. There will be plenty of time for that later when I’m alone in my room. Right now, I need to go talk to Giles.

 

***

 

“Oh dear lord,” Giles mutters.

 

“Will you stop saying that?” I ask sharply.

 

“I’m sorry, Buffy. I’m just a little worried,” He snaps.

 

“Could you at least tell me why?”

 

He tosses the notebook he was writing in onto the desk. “From your description of her behavior, it seems that we may very well have given Joaquin the weapon he needs to defeat us.”

 

“No!” I shout. “She’ll come through for us. You have no idea what it’s like in there for her!”

 

“We’ve heard all we needed to, Buffy,” Angel interrupts. “She’s letting her demons take control.”

 

“She can regain control,” I choke out. “She just needs a little time.”

 

I can’t accept what they’re saying. I understand that she’s having trouble right now, but there has to be something we can do. We’ve been through so much and now that we’re finally getting past everything, this is it? No, she’s stronger than that.

 

“Buffy—”

 

“Please,” I beg, cutting Will’s sentence off. “There has to be a chance.”

 

Giles clears his throat uncomfortably. I look at him and he takes his glasses off as he starts to speak.

 

“There is one, but it depends entirely on Faith.”

 

“What is it?”

 

I hate that I sound so desperate, but I am. I want to explore what I’m feeling, what she feels, everything her eyes have promised and the things her hands have hinted at. I won’t be able to do that if I have to stake her. That’s kind of a relationship breaker.

 

“She would have to go into a meditative state to allow her mind to slip onto another plane of existence where the vampire and the slayer will be able to fight for control. The outcome can go either way.”

 

“How do we get her to do that? Is it some kind of spell?”

 

“No,” He answers simply. “In this type of possession, the host and the spirit have to have a companionable relationship for it to work. If not, then the antagonism will eventually force a confrontation between the two.

 

“In Faith’s situation, the vampire is now the host. The Slayer demon is the spirit. The confrontations will only ever be able to temporarily cage the vampire if the Slayer wins.”

 

His gaze drops. “However, if the vampire wins, the demon’s spirit will leave and Faith will be unreachable. It’s all in Faith’s hands now.”

 

I nod slowly and stand. “Is there anything else you need from me?” I choke out.

 

“I just have one more question. When will the two of you be meeting again?”

 

I run my hand through my hair and answer absently, “We decided on every three days instead of the original every other day meetings.”

 

I leave the room without waiting to see if there’s anything else. I can’t take anymore tonight. As I reach third step on the stairs, I hear the door open and shut behind me. I sigh and let my steps falter.

 

“Wait, Buffy,” Willow calls out.

 

I turn and look at her. “I can’t deal with this tonight, Will. I need some time to myself.”

 

She stops at the foot of the stairs and looks up at me in concern. “You haven’t told us everything have you?”

 

I sigh again and drop my gaze. I hadn’t wanted them to know that Faith did more than drink from me. I didn’t think they needed to know the personal bits yet. But lying to her now won’t do any good.

 

“No, but it doesn’t have anything to do with the mission.”

 

“I’m not asking as a member of the council, Buffy,” Willow answers, hurt. “I’m asking as your best friend.”

 

I lift my eyes and smile sadly. “I know, Will. And I swear to you, I’ll tell you once this is over. But I can’t afford to think about the personal stuff right now.”

 

“I’ll hold you to that,” Willow answers.

 

“I know.”

 

“Go on to bed, Buff,” She jerks her head towards the upstairs. “I’ll be here if you change your mind.”

 

I’m almost at the top of the stairs when she calls my name again. I turn to look down at her.

 

“Yeah, Will?”

 

“If it helps any, I think Faith’s strong enough to beat the odds. She’s done it before,” My redheaded friend says earnestly.

 

“Maybe,” I reply.

 

“You just gotta have Faith,” She adds with a smirk.

 

“Oh, God,” I gasp through my laughter.

 

That was so Faith-like that I can’t help but laugh. It feels so good to find something funny tonight, too. It won’t last for long, but for now I’ll enjoy it.

 

***

 

My body still tingling from the release I just found at my own hands, I collapse back onto the mattress. I curl into a ball and bury my face into the pillow. I squeeze my eyes shut and silent tears soak the soft, cotton fabric.

 

I long for those few short hours I had in Faith’s arms. Her strength was more of a comfort to me than anything I’ve ever experienced. I just wish it had been longer.

 

More to the point, I wish she was here with me now. I need her to reassure me that she’s going to be all right again. Maybe Will’s right, though. I just gotta have Faith—in more ways than one.

 

 

Chapter Sixteen: Blood on My Hands

 

(Faith’s POV)

 

I look around the alley at the group of vamps waitin’ for my orders. Joaquin let me pick ‘em all myself, ‘cept that big dude Dionne. He arranged for him to be in my unit for a while to show me the ropes. At least, that’s the reason he gave.

 

I think he just wanted someone to keep an eye on me. He ain’t asked, but I think he knows I dusted that vamp in the cemetery yesterday. Or he suspects it anyway.

 

Tonight he sent us on a raid. I think it’s just another test ‘cause he didn’t give any specifics on what to get. He just told me to take my unit and loot a local pawnshop. He said I could get first dibs on whatever we brought back since this is my first raid.

 

I gesture for my group to back up and I approach the backdoor. I’m happy to find that it’s a flimsy lock. It doesn’t take long for me to jimmy the lock and ease the door open.

 

Dionne slips around me and rips the alarm out of the wall, wires and all, ‘fore it can go off. I look at him sharply and he shrugs.

 

“It’ll give us a little time. Not much, but more than it would if it had gone off and a neighbor called the cops.”

 

I snort and wave the rest of ‘em ahead of me. “Grab anything that looks valuable. That means weapons, jewelry, and cash. We ain’t got time for electronics so don’t even think about it.”

 

Dionne nods. “That’s a good idea this time around. When we leave we need to split up and meet at the warehouse, though. Is that aight with you, Troy?”

 

“Yeah, we can do that,” I mutter.

 

I ease into the shop and let the door swing shut behind me. I stand back and watch ‘em for a while to make sure everyone’s doin’ what they’re supposed to. Satisfied, I walk to the front of the shop where a few of the display cases are at.

 

I punch the display case, shatterin’ the glass. I reach in and retrieve the silver sheathed knife that had caught my attention. I draw the blade and trace the twin grooves down the center with a negligent finger. My inspection is interrupted by the sound of someone callin’ my name.

 

I return the blade to the sheath and slip it inside my jacket. That one, I’m takin’ with me. I walk over to the tall, skinny vamp who called for me.

 

“What’s up, Ty?”

 

He lifts his find for me to see and I grin. A tray of gold jewelry winks at me in the dim light shinin’ in through the barred windows. I nod at him.

 

“Yeah, grab those.”

 

Another voice calls for me and I look around ‘til I find the culprit. I catch sight of what’s caught her attention and shake my head in exasperation as I stroll over to her. She’s the only female vamp on my team. The rest I picked for their strength, her I picked ‘cause I’d thought she’d make a capable second in command.

 

I was obviously very, very wrong. I smack the remote out of her hand and snarl, “What didn’t ya understand in my instructions? I said not to think about the electronics, Liz.”

 

“But this stereo’s really—”

 

I clamp a hand around her throat and shake her. I ignore the hands clutchin’ at my arm and pull her face to mine.

 

“Forget the fuckin’ stereo. If you can’t follow simple fuckin’ instructions, I’m gonna fix it so you ain’t a problem for me anymore, got it?”

 

She nods as best she can. “Yeah, I got it,” She chokes out.

 

I let her drop and turn away in disgust. “Go help Ty clear out the display cases.”

 

She scrambles to her feet and hurries around me. I shake my head and return to the display cases I was searchin’ earlier. Nothin’ else really catches my attention, so I just grab a bunch of the knives and slip ‘em inside my jacket.

 

I’ve just moved to one of the other sets of cases when a flash of lights outside the storefront window catches my eyes. My lip curls into a sneer and I wave at the others.

 

“Let’s motor ‘fore that cop makes the circuit and sees that the lock’s been popped.”

 

I’m surprised when they simply follow the orders. No one’s rushin’ to do anything as we leave. They just stuff whatever’s in their hands in the bags they’re carryin’ as they go out the backdoor. Dionne’s the last of my unit to leave and I slip out behind him.

 

Dionne gestures for us to hang back as he creeps to the mouth of the alley. I watch him peak ‘round the brick buildin’ and then he waves me forward. I stop at his side and clasp his shoulder.

 

“What’s up?” The question’s barely audible.

 

“I think we can sneak ‘em out one at a time. The pig’s fuckin’ someone in his backseat.”

 

I stifle a chuckle. “Aight, do that. Tell ‘em to meet us back at the warehouse, too.”

 

I move back and shove Ty forward. I watch Dionne give him his instructions and then Ty disappears around the corner. A couple of minutes later, he waves for another one and I shove someone else forward. I make a mental note of who it was and wait.

 

When the other four are gone, I shove Liz forward at Dionne’s signal. When Liz is gone, Dionne gestures me forward and I approach him again.

 

“You go on, D. I’ll wait to make sure the coast is clear, aight?”

 

He looks at me. “Are you sure?”

 

“Yeah, go on.”

 

He nods and waits a couple minutes ‘fore he edges around the corner of the buildin’. Barely a minute passes ‘fore I hear a door open. I ease forward and look to the front of the shop where the cop’s car’s parked. A low snarl escapes at what I see and I feel sick.

 

The cruiser’s back passenger door’s open, lettin’ the interior light illuminate the scene. A young girl, maybe thirteen or fourteen, is leanin’ against the side of the black and white car. This big brute of a pig’s pawin’ at her and kissin’ her.

 

I clench my fists and force myself back into the alley. My nails dig into my palms as I struggle to stay calm. Frustrated, I slam my fist into the trashcan beside me. I tense at the loud clatter of the can hittin’ the cement and rollin’ towards the back of the alley.

 

I strain my ears to hear what’s goin’ on. A surge of excitement takes me by surprise and my face morphs. The footsteps come closer and I slip further into the shadows between two dumpsters as I wait.

 

His shadow stretches the length of the alley and the beam from his flashlight dances across the cement just inches from where I’m crouchin’. He slows to a stop in front of where I’m hidin’ and looks around in confusion.

 

“What the Hell—”

 

I straighten and lunge for him. The flashlight hits the ground and shatters as my hand claps over his mouth, cuttin’ off his startled scream. I pull one of his arms behind his back and jerk it upwards, pullin’ his shoulder out of joint. I slam him into the wall face-first and pull his uninjured arm up just enough to keep him from strugglin’.

 

I hiss, “Stupid pig, ya should’ve stayed where ya were.”

 

He groans and tries to wiggle away from me only to let out a high pitched squeal as I slam my knee up between his legs from behind. I take a moment to appreciate the fact that I’ve never heard a man hit that pitch before. Then I chuckle humorlessly.

 

“Do y’know what we used to do to sick fucks like you back in Southie?”

 

He shakes his head. I let go of his mouth to rip his radio mic off his shoulder and toss it aside. I grab his neck and smash his face into the bricks.

 

“We’d get ‘em alone in the alley and the boys would gangbang ‘em, then they’d cut the guy’s dick off and let him bleed out.”

 

“Oh, God, please don’t,” He chokes out. “Please don’t.”

 

“I ain’t God,” I laugh harshly and shake my head. “And somehow... I really don’t think he’s listenin’ to you anymore.”

 

I kick his legs out from under him and shove him onto his back on the cement. I give him the chance to see my face ‘fore I move. His eyes widen and he freezes.

 

“Oh shit. What the fuck are you?”

 

I retrieve my new knife from my jacket and give him a wide grin, lettin’ my dimples wink at him. “I’m the newest big bad, baby.”

 

Not wantin’ to delay my own gratification any longer, I straddle his chest and pin him to the ground. I toss the knife sheath to the ground by his head and study the blade curiously. I look down at him.

 

“You gonna be good for me or am I gonna have to get rough?”

 

He nods and chokes out, “Y—yeah, I—I’ll be g—good.”

 

I grin and twist at the waist, lettin’ the knife spin through my fingers. I stop with the point down and smirk as my hand darts forward. The blade slices through the fabric at his groin as I clamp my legs tight around his torso and then I let the downward motion carry the blade through flesh to the cement. His body jerks violently in response to the pain shootin’ through his lower half as he screams.

 

I ride out the motions of his agony by the strength in my legs. It doesn’t take long ‘fore it overwhelms him and he stills, his screams silenced by unconsciousness. My shoulders slump in disappointment and then I smirk as I glance down into his pale face.

 

I tear his shirt collar away and lower my mouth to his neck. My fangs tear through his skin to let the blood flow freely down my throat. The taste is so much weaker than a Slayer’s, I muse in disappointment as I feast. It lacks the burn.

 

His heartbeat fades and then stops. I let him go and retrieve my knife before I stand. I wipe the blade off on his shirt and return it to the sheath. I look down at him again.

 

The vague disquiet I’ve felt since that first kill has all but disappeared. In its’ place is an overpowerin’ sense of satisfaction and hunger. I roll my shoulders and leave. The kid’s gone when I step out into the open and I try to ignore the pang of disappointment.

 

 

Chapter Seventeen: Some Like It Hot

 

The walk back to the warehouse returned some semblance of normalcy to my thoughts. It also gave my hormones time to kick in. I’m disgusted at my reaction to what just happened. It wasn’t even like this when I killed Professor Wirth.

 

Each step is agony as it puts pressure against my center. My clit’s throbbin’ with every breath I take and my body’s beggin’ for some action. The need to fuck or fight’s gettin’ stronger and I can feel the vibration of tension just beneath my skin.

 

I thought about goin’ to a club to let off some steam but it ain’t happenin’. My recent loss of control made me realize I need to stay away from humans as much as I can ‘til I figure somethin’ out. I ain’t about to cry over that pig bastard, but it ain’t somethin’ I wanna risk a repeat of.

 

I nod at the guard at the gate and he lets me inside. I walk across the lot to the warehouse and enter. I’m immediately surrounded by two of the youngest members of my unit. Their excited chatterin’ sets my nerves on end and I snap.

 

“Jesus, just shut the fuck up!”

 

Their eyes widen and silence prevails. I give the older one a derisive smile.

 

“Thank you! I get that tonight was the first time ya went on a raid, but now ain’t the time to harass me.” I turn my attention to the other one and roll my eyes. “Kid, just put ya fuckin’ loot in the damn provisions cage and it’ll get sorted out eventually.”

 

Dionne shoves past a few vamps and nods at me. “Sorry about that. I told him to do it earlier. Guess he was just too excited to listen.”

 

I push the kid in the direction of the cage and turn my attention back to Dionne. “Everyone get back aight?”

 

“Yeah,” He nods.

 

“Good. I’m gonna dump my stuff in the cage and then head out.”

 

A hand on my arm stops me from goin’ and I turn to glare at him. He holds up a hand to placate me.

 

“Don’t dust the messenger. I just wanted to tell you that I talked to Joaquin after we got back. He said to send you up to the fourth before you leave.”

 

“Aight,” I mutter and then I make my way over to the provisions cage.

 

I pull out the knives I retrieved from the display case at the pawnshop and toss ‘em in the open cage. I pull out the one I used on the cop and sigh regretfully. I toss it in, too. As nice as the knife is, that ain’t somethin’ I wanna hang onto.

 

I head to the stairs. I’ve been curious about the fourth floor since he gave me and B our tour. I wonder what made him decide to let me in on the secret.

 

As I near the top of the stairs, a scent of incense hits me. It’s strong and it makes my stomach queasy. I force myself to continue and the guard at the top of the stairs moves aside to let me pass. A strange vamp I ain’t seen yet is waitin’ for me at the landin’.

 

“Follow me, please. Joaquin waits for you in his quarters.”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” I mutter in annoyance.

 

In all truth, I ain’t sure if it’s the news he gave me or his chipper tone that has me irritated. I glance around as I reluctantly follow him to the sectioned off area to the right. Tables I’m guessin’ to be lab stations fill the center of the room. Books, beakers, tubes, and unrecognizable items clutter the tops of the tables.

 

A few bookshelves line the back walls and another sectioned off area is to the left. Several vampires and a couple of humans are workin’ at various projects. My guide’s voice draws my attention away from the workers.

 

“Here we are,” He says as he knocks on the door.

 

I stop behind him and cross my arms over my chest. A muffled command filters through the door and he opens it, gesturin’ for me to go inside. I step around him and tense when the door closes behind me. I lift my gaze and take in the room.

 

It’s a simple bedroom. A dark red rug covers the floor and a king size bed is tucked against the far wall. There’s a dresser in one corner and a desk to my right. Joaquin is leanin’ against the desk and there’s an older vamp sittin’ in one of the guest chairs in front of the desk.

 

“There you are, Troy. I hear the raid was successful.”

 

“Yeah, it was.”

 

The old vamp stands and turns to look at me. I can feel the power comin’ off him almost as strong as Red’s and I tense in response to the unseen threat. He clears his throat and grins.

 

“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your lovely companion here, Joaquin?”

 

“Ah yes,” He grins. “Aiden, this is my newest recruit, Troy. Troy, this is my trusted warlock and friend, Aiden.”

 

“I’m pleased to meet you,” Aiden says as he reaches for my hand.

 

“Uh-huh,” I drawl as my gaze takes in his hand and then lifts to his. I arch an eyebrow.

 

He chuckles and withdraws his hand. He glances at Joaquin with a smirk.

 

“She’s a spirited one.”

 

“Yes she is,” Joaquin replies proudly.

 

It takes everything I got to keep from smackin’ the hell outta him. This isn’t the best time for me to be here. Fuck, I gotta get outta here ‘fore I do somethin’ stupid.

 

I clear my throat. “So Dionne said you wanted to see me?”

 

He gives me a grin I’m sure he thinks is charmin’. In reality it just comes off as arrogant and pisses me off even more. I shove my hands into my pockets and ball ‘em up, diggin’ my nails into my palms. The skin breaks where I left crescent marks back in the alley but the pain helps me regain a little control.

 

“Ah, yes.” He turns to Aiden. “We’ll take this up tomorrow. I have some unfinished business with Troy.”

 

Lust flares red hot in my gut at the promise in his tone. He’s a bastard, but he’s hot and my body can’t help but respond when he’s offerin’ the release I need. I’ve always been a slave to my urges and this time ain’t provin’ any different.

 

“All right then,” The older vamp responds as he walks past me. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Troy. Hopefully we’ll have more time to talk soon.”

 

“Yeah, sure,” I mutter as Aiden closes the door behind him.

 

Joaquin walks over to me with an even, rollin’ stride. His hand lifts to trace my jaw and a shiver races up my spine. His gaze catches mine and he gives me a smile.

 

“You hunger for more?”

 

He cups my cheek and my eyes flutter shut as I answer almost inaudibly, “Yes.”

 

His hand drifts down to my neck and his thumb rubs my throat. His blunt nails drag across my skin and I moan. I feel hot breath brush across my check.

 

“Your body yearns to be caressed, doesn’t it?” He whispers in my ear.

 

His body presses into mine and I lean into the contact. This isn’t right, my mind screams. He’s not the one I want.

 

“You crave that brief flare of life that rushes through you with release,” He continues.

 

An image of B’s face, flush with desire enters my mind. She’s the one I want, I whisper internally. Another one drifts to the surface. The image of her eyes floodin’ with tears and her face darkened with anger sends a rush of primal agony through me. I bite back a cry and pull Joaquin to me, bringin’ our mouths together with bruisin’ force.

 

B won’t ever be mine. I killed any chance we had when I drained that fuckin’ pig tonight. I’ll be lucky to even be able to call her a friend when this is all over with.

 

I shove Joaquin back ‘til his knees hit the bed and we fall back onto it. I straddle his hips and pin him down to keep him from tryin’ to get on top. I shake my hair out of my face and sneer at him.

 

“I don’t sub for anyone,” I hiss and then I kiss him hard and wet.

 

 

Chapter Eighteen: The Girl in the Mirror

 

I can’t sleep ‘cause my body’s still hummin’ with tension. I came when I fucked Joaquin, but it didn’t give me the release I needed. Good sex usually cleans my clock, lets my mind go blank for a while, but not tonight. My memories keep playin’ over and over and won’t give me any rest.

 

He wasn’t happy when I got up to leave earlier, but I told him that I just don’t do overnights. I left for home ‘fore he could make any more noise about it, thinkin’ B’s the only one I wanna curl up with. Now I’m here, lyin’ in my pile of blankets and her scent’s all around me. I can still smell a hint of her arousal in the air and it’s drivin’ me nuts.

 

“Fuck,” I groan.

 

Maybe meditation will help me relax enough to get to sleep. I blow out a harsh breath and close my eyes. I let my breathin’ slip into an even, rhythmic cadence as I search for that spot in my mind that’s completely silent. I scrunch my face up in concentration and then I growl in frustration.

 

I open my eyes and scramble into a sittin’ position against the wall. I fold my legs into a yoga style and prop my forearms on my thighs as I lean back against the wall. I let my eyes shut and even out my breathin’ once again. A loud silence suddenly cuts through the racin’ thoughts that have plagued me all night and tension drains from me.

 

I float in that peaceful existence. A faint smile creases my lips and a fuzzy lassitude fills me. Slowly I drift off into familiar dreams in the early mornin’ hours.

 

***

 

I know somethin’ ain’t right as soon as I open my eyes. This definitely ain’t my house. I’m surrounded by stone walls and the floor is covered with fine grains of red sand. My brows furrow in confusion and I force my gaze to move. Opposite the wall where I’m chained are two tunnels, a bright light shines from one and the other is dark as pitch with hungry flames lickin’ at the openin’.

 

I try to move and the rattle of metal against metal alerts me to the fact that I’m bound. I pull, only to find that the chains are bolted to the wall. I tug with full strength and the metal doesn’t even creak in protest. I try again and nearly lose my balance in the shiftin’ sand beneath my bare feet.

 

I take a deep breath and slump back against the chilled stone. I stiffen and look down at my naked body. This can’t be good. Fuck.

 

Usually when someone goes as far as to strip a Slayer and chain her up, they mean business. I don’t know how I got in here, but I gotta get out ‘fore whoever did this comes back. I ain’t ever been a fan of bein’ on the opposite end of the torture session.

 

Fuck, what if Joaquin figured me out? He could’ve had that fuckin’ warlock of his work some kind of mojo when we were in his room earlier. I’m fucked if that’s what this is. I struggle with the chains again, wrappin’ ‘em around my fists and pullin’ with all my strength.

 

A sound reaches my ears and I freeze. I strain my ears to try to catch it again. It comes a few seconds later and the hair on the back of my neck stands on end. I’ve sharpened a lot of blades and steel on rock is one of the most distinctive sounds I’ve ever heard.

 

The shrill scream of metal against rock echoes in the cave for a long span of time and the poundin’ of two sets of feet on the sandy ground signals someone’s fast approach. A dark blur bursts forth from the lit tunnel and slides across the sand to come to a stop on her knees in front of me. The dark wavy head of hair starts to lift and my world shifts on end.

 

The cave falls silent for a long moment as my eyes lock with a set of pure black ones. I shake my head and shift my gaze to take in her face.

 

“This ain’t possible.” I utter the words without thought.

 

Flames flare from torches that have suddenly appeared in sconces on the walls. The light dances across her lithe form and sends shadows dancin’ over her white tank top as she stands in one fluid motion. She gives me a feral smile and laughs as she dusts the sand from her ripped up jeans.

 

“Oh, but it is, little girl,” She replies in a gravelly voice that reminds me of all-night benders. Y’know, the kind where ya drink whiskey and smoke ‘til ya can’t see straight?

 

As impossible as it seems, I know who I’m lookin’ at. She holds herself with a predatory grace that’s as familiar as my own skin. A dangerous energy radiates off of her that puts me on edge. She is the Slayer.

 

The scream of metal comes to a sudden halt and our heads jerk in the direction of the dark tunnel in unison. Supple leather, so tight it looks painted onto her muscular legs, leads up to blood red silk draped over a flat torso. Dark, corkscrew curls fall over her shoulders in waves, framin’ a hauntingly familiar face contorted in angles and ridges that give away what this new mirror image is.

 

“Well ain’t this just a happy little gatherin’,” She snarls.

 

She flips the daggers in her hands and crouches to return them to the sheaths on her calves. She straightens and her yellow eyes catch mine as a deprecatin’ smirk twists her mouth. She lets her fingers slip through the flames lappin’ at her clothes and swaggers into the cave.

 

Her gaze flicks over to the Slayer and a sneer crosses her lips. She keeps walkin’ ‘til she’s right in front of me and they circle each other warily. The vampire throws a right-handed uppercut and the Slayer ducks out of the way. The vamp’s momentum carries her past the Slayer and they switch sides.

 

The vamp charges the Slayer and tries a double right-left combo, managin’ to get the Slayer twice in the gut. I hiss and double over as pain radiates out from my own and I lift my eyes in stunned surprise to see the Slayer retaliate. The roundhouse kick catches the vampire in the jaw and I groan as I feel an answerin’ pain in mine. The copper tang of blood fills my mouth and I lift my head to see the vamp lick blood from the corner of her mouth.

 

The vamp pulls a dagger from her boot and they lock eyes as she straightens. There’s a short lull in the fightin’ as they circle each other once more and then the vamp lunges for the Slayer. She flips over the vamp’s head and quickly turns to face her again.

 

“So afraid you’ll lose ya gotta bring a weapon into it? You’re such a fuckin’ loser.”

 

“I ain’t afraid of nothin’— ‘specially not a little bitch that can’t even control herself.”

 

“Ha, so that’s why ya let B haul ass, hmm?”

 

“That was all you, motherfucker.”

 

She throws an uppercut with her left and when the Slayer’s committed to blockin’ the punch, the vamp lets the other hand carry the blade across her unprotected middle. I cry out and double over, my arms jerkin’ reflexively at the chains. My shoulder blades protest the sudden strain and I clench my jaw as I straighten, regrettin’ it as the older pain makes itself known.

 

“See what we’re doin’? We need to work together,” The Slayer snarls.

 

I look up to find the Slayer and the vamp lookin’ at me and I freeze. The Slayer’s wrapped one arm over her own belly and she’s pointin’ at me with the other hand. I follow the direction of her finger and wince. Blood’s tricklin’ slowly from a long, narrow gash spannin’ the width of my lower belly.

 

The vamp smirks and saunters over. She reaches for me and I try to jerk away from her touch only to hit the stone wall. She swipes a finger over the wound and brings it to her mouth. She slips the digit between her lips and moans in pleasure.

 

“Fuck, I taste almost as good as B does.”

 

I gag as a renewed taste of blood floods my senses. I glare at her and she lets her finger slip from her mouth. She pouts at me.

 

“Why ya gotta take away my fun?”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

She quirks an eyebrow and lets her gaze flick to the chains and back to me. “Maybe later,” She snickers.

 

She returns her attention to the Slayer who has made her way over to stand next to her. She considers her for a brief moment and then snorts.

 

“I’d rather work with that bossy little blonde bitch than you.”

 

The Slayer laughs and shrugs. “Have it your way then.”

 

Before she can react, the Slayer hits her with a left-right triple combo. She follows it up with a spin-kick that sends the vamp reelin’ backwards and knocks the dagger from her hand. She doesn’t give her time to recover before she’s on her again.

 

It all blurs together as I’m lost in the pain. Bruises form and blood runs down my body from the various wounds my counterparts inflict on themselves and me. It all comes to a screechin’ halt and I’m left huddled up, waitin’ for the next strike to start it over.

 

Confused, I painstakingly force my swollen eyes to open and peer out. Through a fuzzy, red-tinted haze I see somethin’ that makes my blood run cold. They’re standin’ just a few feet away, the vamp’s arms pinnin’ the defeated Slayer to her as her mouth hovers over a bared neck. Smirkin’ victoriously despite the split in her lip still tricklin’ blood down her chin, the vamp watches me expectantly.

 

She catches my gaze and lowers her mouth. Her fangs sink into the Slayer’s throat and hoarsely, I scream out as the Slayer’s pain becomes my own and blood fills my mouth once more. The sound of my distress rouses the Slayer and her eyes flutter open. She slumps back against the vamp and lets her gaze catch mine.

 

“This is what you are,” She says weakly. “Accept it. If ya stop fightin’ it, you’ll be aight.”

 

“She’s killin’ you,” I choke out. “How do I accept that shit? I ain’t like that anymore.”

 

She smirks in response and lifts her hand to tangle it in the dark curls at the back of the vamp’s head. The vamp retracts her fangs and lifts her head. Their eyes lock and then their mouths meet in a messy, copper flavored kiss. A wave of dark lust flows through me and then they separate, a thin string of red saliva trailin’ between ‘em ‘til the Slayer wipes it away.

 

She drags her eyes back to mine and smirks. “Not everything’s as it seems. Take a look at your body and you’ll see.”

 

My brows furrow and I look down in confusion. My eyes widen and I jerk my head back up to look at the vampire. As with mine, her wounds are slowly closin’. I lift my eyes back to the Slayer’s.

 

“Why?”

 

Instead of answerin’ me, the Slayer turns in the circle of the vamp’s arms and cups her face. She strokes her thumbs over the contours of the vamp’s sharp cheekbones. The vamp’s eyes flutter shut and she sighs, bringin’ a soft smile to the Slayer’s lips.

 

Finally, she rasps, “I can’t kill her. I don’t have enough of a hold on this realm to do that. If I defeated her, it would only last ‘til the next fight.”

 

I’m hearin’ what she’s sayin’, but I’m gettin’ a little distracted. There’s just somethin’ really fucked up ‘bout watchin’ me gettin’ all touchy-feely with myself. I shake my head and try to force my mind back to the convo at hand.

 

“Aight, but what’s stoppin’ her from killin’ you?”

 

The vamp buries her face in the Slayer’s neck again and one hand drops from the Slayer’s lower back to squeeze her ass. I blink as the conflictin’ sensations of pain and pleasure accompany the taste of blood. The Slayer chuckles huskily and looks over her shoulder at me.

 

“She can’t kill me ‘cause she’ll go fuckin’ nuts without me.”

 

“Then why were ya fightin’?”

 

“Ya mean ya can’t figure it out?” She snickers.

 

I roll my eyes. ‘Course I can. I’m a stubborn bitch who refuses to give in even when I should. And I like to fight.

 

The vamp finally lifts her head away from her neck and brings her gaze back to me. Her eyes go unfocused for a sec like she’s lookin’ through me and then she sneers.

 

“‘Course it ain’t gonna matter if ya don’t get a hold of yourself. Then again, looks like purgatory here’s got a hold on ya.”

 

“What the fuck are ya talkin’ about?”

 

“You’re hangin’ on by a thread. You’re just the part of the soul that bonded with the Slayer.”

 

 

Chapter Nineteen: The Killer in Me

 

I suck in a harsh breath as I surge awake. The first thing I’m aware of is that I’m back in my livin’ room. The second thing is the pain. My entire body aches.

 

I force myself to move so I can turn the lantern on. The dim light confirms what my body’s tellin’ me. All ready healin’ wounds are scattered over my bare thighs and my tank top’s been shredded. I brush aside the white cotton scraps to see extensive bruisin’ all along my torso and the long cut on my belly from the vamp’s dagger.

 

I hesitantly lift a finger to probe at the jagged edges of the wound and a jolt of fiery pain shoots through my belly. I tense and wait for the pain to subside before I stand. My thoughts are racin’ from the realization that it wasn’t just a nightmare.

 

I retrieve my cigarettes from my jacket and light one up. I inhale deeply and then blow the smoke out in one long stream. I pace the floor as I try to achieve some sort of calm. That dream may have been full of info, but ain’t none of it helpin’ any right now. I’m just as agitated as I was ‘fore I went to sleep, if not worse.

 

I’m on my third cigarette ‘fore my thoughts gain any form of clarity. I come to a stop in front of the fireplace and I press my hand against the recent crack in the brick wall. I take a hit off the cigarette and shake my head.

 

What the fuck was the point in that shit? Did the PtB decide it’s been too fuckin’ long since they fucked with my head? I take another puff and shake my head. I don’t really think they had anything to do with that ‘cause it wasn’t their style.

 

So maybe I need to think about what the incest twins were tryin’ to tell me. I grimace. Somethin’ ‘bout both of ‘em kinda irks me. Maybe it’s ‘cause they’ve both driven me to murder? I may have held the weapons, but those two helped me get there.

 

I turn to lean against the wall and run my fingers through my hair. My eyebrows furrow and I sigh. I ain’t gonna get any rest ‘til I do, so I might as well get it over with. I let myself consider some of the things I remember ‘em sayin’.

 

I get why the slayer let the vamp drink from her. It was to show me that I need the Slayer so I don’t get lost to the hunger. But what was that shit about my soul?

 

Does that mean I still have one? Wait, no. They said only part of my soul was bonded with the Slayer. So that’s why I’ve been in control at times, I guess.

 

But why do I keep losin’ it? If they know that they need each other to survive, then why do they keep fightin’? They’ve obviously accepted the status quo.

 

I lift my eyes and a sardonic smile crosses my lips as understandin’ dawns. It’s too fucked up for words.

 

All this time I’ve told myself and everyone else that I’ve accepted everything. Bein’ a Slayer, the blood on my hands, and then when Dane turned me—each time I tried to act like I was five by five when the truth is, I was just hidin’ behind it instead of acceptin’ it. Each sitch became just another defense mechanism for me.

 

I’ve used the fact that I’m a Slayer to hide that there’s still a hurt little girl inside me. I’ve used it to make excuses for my behavior. Then when we killed Finch, I used that as an excuse to run. Then I used the excuse of bein’ a killer as a reason for my behavior, too. When I was turned, I used that as an excuse to turn my back on my callin’.

 

Even after I went to jail, I didn’t really accept that I was a killer. Sayin’ it is a whole ‘nother thing. I was just tired of the internal conflicts. I had ‘em even then.

 

I’m losin’ control ‘cause I ain’t ever really had it at all. I keep strugglin’ against what’s happenin’ and ‘cause my soul’s incomplete I ain’t strong enough to win. I’m fightin’ my instincts and ‘cause of that, the Slayer part of me is tryin’ to stay calm instead of keepin’ my urges in check. They were tryin’ to tell me that I gotta accept what I am to get through this.

 

The question is can I accept that I’m a killer? If I accept that I’m a Slayer and a vampire, then I’ll have to. And I think that’s what I’ve been fightin’ against all this time.

 

It just goes to show that B really is THE Slayer, ‘cause she accepted it a long time ago. I realized that almost ten years ago when we went up against The First. She was able to accept that she got those girls killed, but me? It still burns me when I think about the ones I was responsible for.

 

So can I accept all that? I close my eyes and let my head drop. I call up every memory I have of bein’ a Slayer, each person I’ve killed, every moment of the past four years and I let it all play out as I make myself feel everything.

 

The feelings are almost too fuckin’ much. The blind hatred I felt for Kakistos, the adrenaline of a good, hard fight, the dark thrill of a hunt, the burnin’ lust after a kill. It all swells up, tightenin’ my chest with agony and bliss ‘til it pours out my eyes in tears.

 

My fingernails dig into my palms as I fight the urge to run and I force myself to stay still as it continues. The incredible warmth I feel when I drink from someone, the sensation of holdin’ someone’s life in my hands, the high of bein’ in control, the hunger. It makes me shake with need.

 

The adrenaline of goin’ all out with someone who can take it, the feelin’ of knowin’ someone’s got my back, the completeness of movin’ in time with someone else. It reminds me that there’s so much more to life.

 

I feel myself startin’ to calm down and still the memories come, softly now. The warm pressure of B’s body curled into mine, the desire to sink into her and lose myself, the pleasure/pain of lovin’ someone else, achin’ to touch her ‘til she screams my name, drinkin’ and knowin’ it’s her blood that’s warmin’ me. It makes me quiver with desire.

 

This is who I am. I’m the vamp, and I’m the Slayer. There ain’t any changin’ that. I enjoy those things ‘cause I was made to do ‘em.

 

A surge of power flows through me and a slow, satisfied smile spreads across my lips as I let my eyes flutter open. I take a deep breath and revel in a contentment I ain’t ever felt before. I stand there for a long time as my mind drifts aimlessly, just enjoyin’ the unusual sensations.

 

A thought occurs to me and I tilt my head. Will it work? Doin’ that would put the worst of it on my shoulders. Am I up for it? I smirk in answer to my question.

 

I know what to do now, and I know I can do it. I glance at my watch and then head for my bag. Eight thirty’s late enough, there’s no point in waitin’ any longer.

 

I pull on a pair of jeans, a tank top, and my boots, and then run a brush through my hair. When I step outside onto the porch I idly note that there’s a full moon out tonight. I set off down the driveway towards the cemetery, puttin’ a little swagger in my stride.

 

Oh yeah, I’m a killer aight. My face morphs to game form and I chuckle. It’s time I show everyone just what I can do.

 

***

 

I arrived at the crypt first for once. I sent B a text message on my cell while I walked over here, so it shouldn’t be much longer. It’s kinda hard to believe that dump I’m stayin’ in is just a few blocks over from HQ. The neighborhoods are so fuckin’ different it seems like they should be in different nations.

 

A familiar tingle works its’ way up my spine and it takes me a moment to realize just what it is. A wonderin’ grin spreads across my lips. Instead of the jarrin’ jolt of energy I’ve been gettin’ when a Slayer’s around, it’s more like what it used to be. It ain’t quite the same but it’s so much more pleasant than the mini-shocks treatment.

 

The door edges open and she slips inside. Her eyes meet mine immediately and I’m surprised to see hers widen. Her eyebrows furrow and she warily steps closer to me.

 

“What?” I ask sharply, uncomfortable with the scrutiny.

 

Her mouth opens and shuts a couple of times and then she finally manages to stammer, “Y—your eyes a—are black, Faith — I mean, l—like shiny black.”

 

“Oh,” I mutter.

 

Well, how the fuck else should I respond that that? It ain’t like I can just look in a mirror and see for myself, now can I? I just gotta take her word for it.

 

“What’s your point?”

 

“Why are they like that?” She asks tensely.

 

I grin wickedly. “Let’s just say I’ve gotten in touch with my inner me.”

 

She winces. “You know, Faith, I’m really not feeling too confident after that statement.”

 

I laugh and hold up my hands. “Don’t worry so fuckin’ much, B. I’m fine.”

 

Her eyes trace my face and confusion clouds her expression for a sec. Then she shakes her head and lets out a soft sigh.

 

“What’s happened?”

 

“It’s really kinda complicated, B.”

 

That’s puttin’ it mildly. I ain’t sure how to explain it without comin’ off like a complete fuckin’ lunatic but I gotta try. She won’t go along with my plan ‘til I do.

 

“Can you at least try to tell me so I’m not freaking out over here, Faith?”

 

“Aight,” I blow out a breath. “So I had this dream.”

 

She starts to interrupt and I hold up a hand. “I’m gettin’ there, so just chill.”

 

I hop up onto one of the stone coffins in the middle of the crypt to sit. “The dream was like a Slayer dream on Orpheus. I was chained to this cave wall and the chains were Slayer proof. Then two of me come out of these tunnels, ‘cept one’s the Slayer and the other’s the vamp. They fight, and I’m sufferin’ through everything they do to each other.

 

“I kinda got lost and then the next thing I know they’re all over each other and tellin’ me I gotta accept what I am.” I pause, ignorin’ the odd look that passes over her face.

 

Should I tell her the rest? It ain’t like my soul really makes a difference in this sitch. I shrug internally and decide not to. She doesn’t need to know. Tellin’ her I lost control ‘cause my part of my soul’s stuck in purgatory ain’t gonna help. That and for some reason, the thought of tellin’ her rubs me the wrong way.

 

“What else happened, Faith?”

 

I shrug. “I woke up and found out it wasn’t just a dream.” I rub the still healin’ cut through my shirt. “I got the marks to prove it.”

 

She crosses the room to me and puts her hands on my knees. She tilts her head and asks softly, “So what does it mean?”

 

I catch her gaze and hold it. “It meant I had to accept that no matter which way I look at it, I’m a killer. And I have.”

 

 

Chapter Twenty: Communication Skills

 

I can see the denial comin’ ‘fore she even opens her mouth to speak. Her eyebrows furrow and she shakes her head.

 

“F—Faith, that isn’t—”

 

“What?” I interrupt. “It ain’t true? Try again, baby.”

 

She steps away and crosses her arms over her chest. I hop off the coffin and saunter over to her. She backs up and I follow ‘til she’s pinned against the wall. Leanin’ one arm by her head, I lower my face closer to hers and an irrepressible grin creases my lips.

 

My voice lowers to a guttural whisper as I speak. “There ain’t anything like the rush I get when I drain someone, B. Feelin’ their life fadin’, their struggles growin’ weaker, the warmth that floods me. Havin’ that power over someone else, it’s...” I shake my head roughly and growl. “It’s amazin’.”

 

She swallows hard and chokes out, “Faith, that’s... You’re losing control.”

 

“No,” I answer softly. “I’m more in control than I’ve ever been, B.”

 

It’s the truth. I’m lettin’ myself revel in the feelings instead of rejectin’ ‘em. And for the first time, I can think about it and not feel like I’m about to go off the handle. I ain’t afraid anymore.

 

“Listen to what you just said, Faith. You just admitted that you enjoy killing someone.”

 

I search the heartbroken hazel eyes and give her a sympathetic smile. I run the backs of my fingers along her cheek. B’s eyes slide shut and she leans into the caress.

 

“B,” I say softly. “It’s part of who I am. I can’t lie and say it ain’t. What I can say is that for the first time ever, I feel like I can stop myself from crossin’ the line. I know I can.”

 

“But how do you know?” She asks almost inaudibly. “How do I know I can trust you?”

 

I kiss her forehead and let my hand trail down her neck to her chest. I flatten my hand out over her heart and smile sadly.

 

“I just do. I know it’s hard, but I just need ya to trust your heart for a little while longer. Can you do that for me, B?”

 

Her eyes open and she gives me an inscrutable look. A minute passes ‘fore she nods almost imperceptibly.

 

“Okay,” She says shakily.

 

“Thank you,” I breathe and lean forward to kiss her forehead again.

 

“Don’t make me regret this,” She mutters softly as she ducks under my arm.

 

“I won’t.”

 

I turn to face her and watch as she paces the floor a couple of times. She stops, blows out a shudderin’ breath, and then turns back around.

 

“Was that the only reason you called a meeting?”

 

I grin broadly. “Nah, it ain’t. I came up with a plan to help us beat this motherfucker.”

 

Her eyes brighten and I got all her attention now. I get a little thrill at the sight of the tiny, proud smile twitchin’ at the corners of her lips. Fuck, I’m such a sap. I shake the thought off and see an expectant look directed at me. I hate to disappoint, so I tell her.

 

***

 

(Buffy’s POV)

 

“You — you’re insane!” I sputter.

 

She did not just say that! She wants to go up against Joaquin alone? Surrounded by all of his goons?

 

I don’t care if she plans on having us there too. Who knows what kind of tricks he has up his sleeve? He isn’t a typical vampire. He actually has a brain that doesn’t revolve around blood twenty-four/seven.

 

She crosses her arms over her chest and levels a stubborn look at me. I return it with equal measure.

 

“B, you said you’d trust me.”

 

I throw my hands up and growl. “Well in that case, I’m insane!”

 

“What’s so fuckin’ crazy about it?”

 

I sigh in exasperation. “What makes you think he’ll even accept a challenge from you?”

 

The smile on her lips grabs my attention. It’s one of those that make my hormones sit up and beg. Damn it, I cannot be thinking about that right now.

 

“Let’s just say I’ve made it personal, aight?” She drawls.

 

My heart clenches and I let my gaze fall. I don’t want to ask, but part of me has to know. I try to steel myself for the answer.

 

“Just how close have you gotten to him, Faith?”

 

“Close enough.”

 

I glare at her and snap, “Faith! Just give me a straight answer. That’s all I want.”

 

Her face darkens and she crosses her arms over her chest. “I fucked him, aight? That what ya wanna know?”

 

My chest tightens and I clench my jaw shut tightly. She walks over to me and gently grasps my chin, forcing me to look in her eyes.

 

Her voice lowers intimately and I’m shocked at the contrast between her actions and her words. “Ya wanna hear how fuckin’ wicked it felt, B? Just how good I felt ridin’ him? Or maybe ya wanna know why I was so tightly wound in the first place?”

 

Images play out in my head and I try to ignore them. The thought of him touching her has me so freaking angry and I’m struggling not to cry. This is the control she was claiming to have? I don’t want or need to hear any more.

 

She starts to speak again and I interrupt, “Just shut up, Faith. You know, I really doubt that you’re in any sort of control right now.”

 

I’m surprised to see her smile. She shakes her head and chuckles.

 

“I was just tryin’ to get ya to shut up so we could get back on track, B. We ain’t got time to fuck around right now.”

 

“Fine,” I mutter. “Just explain why you’re so convinced your plan’s going to work.”

 

She grins. “He has an ego as big as mine if not bigger, B. He’s gonna be pissed as Hell when he realizes just how much he fucked up.”

 

“Your point is? They still outnumber us. Just ‘cause you take him out doesn’t mean the rest of the threat goes away.”

 

“He’s keepin’ the larger part of his army somewhere else. Only a couple hundred stay ‘round here. We had worse odds with the First and most of our girls weren’t even trained then.”

 

I have to admit that she has a point there. But it still doesn’t sit well with me.

 

“What about the weapons? We can arm ours as much as we want, but we can’t dodge bullets, Faith.”

 

A wicked grin forms on her full lips. “I finally got to check out the fourth floor. They got a lab up there. Ya wanna know somethin’ interestin’?”

 

Odd subject changes worry me, but that glint in her eyes worries me more. It warns me that she’s about to get incredibly, annoyingly, smug. I look at her warily.

 

“What?”

 

“Orpheus smells a lot like incense when it’s bein’ prepared. It’s really sickeningly strong. First I thought they were burnin’ a lot of incense, but there wasn’t any. They were, however, workin’ at their lab stations with beakers and Bunsen burners all ‘round. Know what that spells?”

 

I narrow my eyes at her. “I know you have a point somewhere.”

 

Her eyebrows twitch. “Three of ‘em, but I guess ya don’t meant those.”

 

It doesn’t take a genius to get the first two points she’s insinuating, but a third? My eyes drift over her body and I flush when I realize what she’s talking about. I shake my head and groan. Okay, mind on the job and out of Faith’s pants, please.

 

“Then get to it,” I answer dryly.

 

“Ya really know how to take all the fun out of it, y’know?” She lifts her hands as I glare at her again. “Aight, it means they can’t fire guns inside. Orpheus is flammable.”

 

“You frighten me,” I mutter. “Why do you know so much about that drug?”

 

She snickers. “No mystery there. I wanted to know about it ‘cause I used it back when I had to put Angelus back in his Angel shaped box.”

 

Damn, she’s hot when she’s smug. Okay, not thinking that! Jesus, I need help.

 

No, what I need is for this to be over with so we can get to the more important things. I need to see a woman, this woman, about my hormones. Then we can deal with our issues. Not usually my thing, but I doubt I’ll be able to think straight until we get that out of the way.

 

“So when do we do this?”

 

No! I did not just agree to this crazy as Hell plan of hers! Oh, God, I did. I really do need to have my head examined.

 

She gives me a dimpled grin. “Sunrise, day after tomorrow. Post teams outside the exits and at the gate to keep the demons from escapin’. I’ll leave the rest for you to decide.”

 

I can only nod and hope to God that this plan of hers works. We’re going in half-blind, but I’m trying to trust her like she asked. I just hope it doesn’t blow up in my face.

 

Her stomach growls and she presses her hand to her belly. She looks at me and sighs. “So, are we ‘bout done here?”

 

My gaze drops and I shrug. “We’ve gone over the particulars. I just gotta set things up with Giles and get the girls ready. I guess that means you’re done for tonight.”

 

“Aight,” She mutters. “I gotta motor, then.”

 

She turns to go and I hesitate. I should just let her go do what she needs to, right? It doesn’t mean anything just ‘cause she drinks someone else’s blood. It’s not like she’s going to kill them, right?

 

Her hand touches the door handle and I call out anxiously, “Wait!”

 

Damn it, I need to learn to leave well enough alone. Why do I do this to myself? It’s just that the thought of her pressing up against someone else and sinking her fangs into their skin, it makes me angrier than the thing with Joaquin. Again, I need help.

 

She looks over her shoulder at me. “What’s wrong?”

 

I bite my bottom lip and look up at her through my lashes. “Where are you going?”

 

“Ya really wanna know?”

 

I nod and she laughs disbelievingly. “Why ya gotta make things harder, B? Ya know damn well what I’m goin’ to do.”

 

I run my hand through my hair and then let it drop. What to do? I recall the other night when I was so worried about her. I blow out a harsh breath and lift my head, decision made.

 

I slowly stroll over to Faith, letting my hips swing a little more than usual. Her eyes flick to mine as I step up to her. I press my hands against her silk-clad belly and run them up the flat, muscled surface. My palms brush over her breasts, feeling her nipples harden at the touch, and I stop with my hands on her upper chest.

 

I lick my bottom lip and ask softly, “Do you really have to involve anyone else, Faith?”

 

Tension rolls off her in waves. She clenches her teeth and growls. “B, just lemme go.”

 

I tilt my head, letting my hair fall away from my neck. I watch with satisfaction as her gaze falls to take in her fading marks still very much present. I run one hand up behind her neck and twine her hair around my fingers.

 

“C’mon, F,” I taunt. “I know you want it.”

 

“I don’t wanna hurt you, B,” She says softly, her face showing her conflict.

 

“You won’t.”

 

I tug her hair, pulling her closer until her face is right at my neck. Hot breath brushes against my skin and I shiver. She hesitates and then the tension suddenly drains from her. Her lips brush my skin and then I feel the pinch of her fangs as she bites me.

 

I’m getting lost in the fog that clouds my thoughts and I go easily as my body responds to her. I bite my lip and wrap my other arm around her neck to hold on. I pull Faith as close as I can and press my body into hers. She wraps her arms around my waist and growls against me as she feeds.

 

As a Slayer, this should disgust me, but it doesn’t. At least not right now. Who knows how I’ll feel when all this is over and I’ve had a chance to process it. Right now though, all I can do is moan in response as my clit throbs and a thin trickle of blood escapes her hungry mouth to run down my chest and beneath my tank top between my breasts.

 

 

 

Continued